mommy, wife, counselor, crafter

I hope it's just a phase!!!!!!!

2012-01-07T21:18:00.000-06:00

OK, so I haven't blogged in forever, oops :) Maybe I should revisit the idea?
So, my little R is being absolutely Terrible about most everything most ever day. She screams when she doesn't get her way, screams when she gets a consequence, yells alot, talks back, throws things, bosses us, hits, kicks, complains about every little detail, is obsessed with washing her hands and can be just downright mean. Geez I hope this is truly just a phase. It's been going on about 6 weeks of the awfuls and I am praying it ends soon. I know some of her actions are just a reaction to us so we have got to make changes too.
I've heard some positive things about "Have a New Kid by Friday" and just checked it out. I'm open to trying almost anything :)

control

2011-09-21T14:58:00.000-05:00

There are so many things out of my control that I worry about. I'm trying to Let Go and Let God but sometimes it is so hard.
I am still amazed how people act sometimes and how they feel the need to run other's lives. Just when you think they have ceased the crap, it starts again. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!
I am so far away and feel so out of the loop and feel no one wants to keep me in-it's as if certain individuals want me out of the picture and I truly don't understand why.
I find myself having less than Christian thoughts and questioning how these Christian people can treat others in such a way. Then I remind myself-no one is perfect and it's not my place to judge.
When things get stressful I miss my Mom even more. She was the persistent, assertive one. Wish heaven wasn't so far away.

Birthdays

2011-08-09T08:53:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was my Mom's birthday, the second one since she passed away last February. In a way I'm proud of myself for not getting upset and then I also feel a little guilty that I thought so little about it. I was aware of the date but I guess not focused on it. I still have days when the grief is overwhelming but those are fewer and fewer. Now I have more short moments of all those feelings versus entire days. So it's true, time does help.
Moving on to this weekend-R is having a pool party for her birthday. She is super excited!! She picked out a Tangled theme! Her birthday is next week and she will be 4. My baby is no longer a toddler, she's a little girl :(.

Summer fun list

2011-07-16T00:53:00.000-05:00

What are you doing this summer for fun? We aren't going on vacation so we will just have to find things to do around here. LOTS of people vacation here so we might play tourists for a day or two :)
Some must do things for us this summer and later:
Wonderworks
Seashell hunting early in the morning after a storm
Dolphin cruise
handprints and/or footprints in sand w/ plaster
Trips to bay
Trips to beach
Play in the sprinkler
Nightime walk on beach
Picnic on beach
Gulfworld
Matinee movie
Splatter painting a sheet or something similar outside
St Joe State Park
Maybe camping in the late summer

Lullaby

2011-07-06T09:30:00.000-05:00

My little R asked me to sing her "R's song" tonight and I realized I had almost forgotten some of the words. So I thought I would add it here to preserve forever :)

Sleep little R--- go to sleep, Sleep little R--- go to sleep
Close your eyes and dream away, close your eyes and dream away
Dream about happy thoughts, dream about happy thought
Butterflies and fairytales, Sunny days and baby whales
Little ponies brown and white, mommy and R-- flying kites
Tiny fishies swimming by, Lions, tigers, bears, oh my
Building castles in the sand, Daddy and R holding hands
Turtles, frogs, and birdies too
Flowers and trees and the morning dew
Jumping waves and playing catch
Baking cookies by the batch
Sleep little R go to sleep, sleep little R go to sleep

Sometimes LOTS of singing was required to get R to go to sleep or get her back to sleep. I would run out of songs so I just made one up. Hard to believe I miss those sleepless nights and sleep deprived hazy days.

Slacker

2011-06-26T20:15:00.000-05:00

So I haven't blogged in forever but not because I've been busy, just slacking. I am no longer working full time which I am enjoying but the drop in income is worrisome. I just started a new job as a contractor. I'm hoping to work 20-25 hours a week before too long.
Must update this thing soon-R and I have been busy :)

More gardening

2011-04-14T11:02:00.000-05:00

I am determined to make my garden work this year!!!! That means watering, watering and more watering. This week I planted cucumbers, yellow zuchini, green zuchini, butternut squash, acorn squash, summer squash, 2 kinds of pole beans and regular bush beans. I'm thinking I wilI still need to plant bellpeppers and maybe some green onions. Oh and the hubby bought turnip seeds, might as well give them a try too. I am doing "intensive" gardening and may have planted things too close but we will see. My father-in-law cut down the fig tree that was blocking the sun for me-hopefully that will get things going quicker.
I can't wait to get my sunflowers in the ground. Just have to figure out a good spot, and a way to keep the puppy from eating, digging, and generally destroying them.

Random happenings and bad mommy confession

2011-04-05T16:22:00.000-05:00

We have had a month of lots of busyness but little actually getting done :)
I spent a week in my hometown at a substance abuse conference, baby was sick for a week (and is again), and I've had a general lack of energy for a few weeks.
The conference was mediocre but I did have a wonderful time seeing some old friends, exploring the campus, and getting to spend time with my Dad every evening. AND I got the always needed CEUs.
I did get tomatoes and a few herbs planted. I am trying buckets for the tomatoes-not sure how that is going to work. I also have prepared my little garden spot for planting, which will be done by this weekend. A few annuals have been added to the flower bed, flower seeds are in the ground and sunflower seeds are in peat pots.

http://familyfun.go.com/crafts/sunflower-sunroom-671975/
I am super excited about the sunflower house. I saw the idea on Family Fun and decided to give it a try. I am going to plant the sunflowers in a circle, leaving an opening for the "door", and plant morning glories in between the sunflowers.
We have done almost ZERO planned preschool activities in the last three weeks. I know-bad Mommy! Hopefully things will get back in gear soon.

What My Child Is Reading This Week-COW Theme

2011-03-08T15:36:00.000-06:00

We just started our Cow Theme week. Our books for the week include: Clancy the Courageous Cow, Click Clack Moo-Cows that Type, Cows (Doyle), What a Wonderful Day to be a Cow, A Calf Is Born, The Cow that Went Oink, The Cow Who Wouldn't Come Down, and Cows (Miller).

I found a free curriculum online that takes some (more like alot) of the planning off of me, so we are giving it a try. It is-Brightly Beaming Steps to Reading Program Preparatory Curriculum by Katrina Lybbert http://www.letteroftheweek.com/index.html . I am changing things around a little by adding a bible verse per theme, adding an extra vocabulary word and having one theme for two weeks versus one.
Our plans for the next two weeks include: making butter from heavy cream by shaking, visiting cows, learning cow facts, having a dairy only snack, cow paper bag puppet, playing with handmade farm animal blocks and most of the activities listed in the curriculum.

R-My Wish for You

2011-03-03T11:09:00.000-06:00

My wishes and dreams and hopes for my precious little R
-grow up knowing how much both your Dad and I love you
-have lots of memories of good times even the most ordinary ones
-have instilled values to guide you through even the toughest times
-always see the beauty in God's creation
-health
-remain connected to your sisters
-find a man who treats you like a princess :)
-love yourself
-personal relationship with God
-continue some of our traditions with your children
-are self sufficient but willing to ask for and accept help
-remain in awe of nature
-laugh often
-find a few special friends to keep for a lifetime
-have children of your own to experience the joy it brings to your life to be a Mom
-find and develop your special gifts from God
-experience different cultures
-never compromise your values to fit in
-keep your sense of humor

And much more that I will share with you as you get older.

Christmas in Maggie Valley

2011-02-11T16:21:00.003-06:00

Okay, so it's February and I'm just now doing a post about Christmas......what a slacker :)

We celebrated Christmas in a rental house in the mountains this year. For me, it was perfect except for missing family members (frown). Our celebration was simple but just right for us. Christmas morning we opened presents, oohed and ahhed over the snow, and ate a yummy breakfast complete with the traditional Cracker Barrel knockoff breakfast casserole. Little R had tons of fun feeding her baby doll, playing dress up, and enjoying having her CoCo around. We had planned on a late lunch/early dinner for our main Christmas meal but it didn't exactly work out that way. We lost power for a few hours two different times so the food wasn't ready on time but we didn't care. Little R and the rest of us spent LOTS of time outside playing in the snow. It was our first White Christmas so it made the day even more special.

The REASON for the SEASON- JESUS

The TREE....$10 tree bought 4 days before Christmas. Small, lopsided, uneven, think Charlie Brown Christmas tree with a borrowed stand that dwarfed it and don't forget the awesome tree skirt aka burgundy bath towel.
The ORNAMENTS-a few ornaments my Mom made (sequins and pins on styrofoam), old plastic silver ornaments that were destined for the garbage, glittered pinecones made by Little R and I, foam ornaments made by all of us, and of course strung popcorn :)
The PRESENTS-homemade scarf for baby, hubby and the sisters, foam stickies for little R (she spent forever in the tub playing with them, homemade soap for the ladies, scrapbook style picture plaques for everyone, homemade microwave popcorn with bags decorated by R for everyone, a shirt for the hubby, and some store bought toys for R.
The ACTIVITIES- painting with watercolors, snuggling while watching movies, playing in the snow, making snow angels, gathering pinecones for decorating and starting fires, making glittered pinecones, making smores outside by the campfire, trip to waterfall, playing by the river, collecting rocks, coloring, sipping hot chocolate outside covered with blankets, just sitting and watching the fire, playing with new toys, reconnecting :)
The PEOPLE-me, hubby, Little R and CoCo (sister). We had hoped others would join us but it didn't work out that way.
The SETTING- Wonderful 3 bed, 2 bath rental home on the side of a mountain, 2 covered decks, deck off of master bedroom, view of the mountains, 2 fireplaces in Maggie Valley, NC
The FOOD- cookies for Santa, cheesecake, smores, fresh ground coffee, Pomegranite glazed Ham, hashbrown casserole, red beans and rice, cornbread dressing
The MEMORIES-first white Christmas, little one making snow angels, reindeer food for Rudolph and crew, Little R in her super cute snow suit, first Christmas without my Mom, SMORES!!

We did get snowed in. That was quite an experience. We didn't leave the house for 5 days except for hubbie's trip to the grocery store. Thanks to friends of a friend we survived. My friend Kym who lives in Maggie just happened to leave for Reno the night before we got there BUT she hooked us up with people she knew with a massive 4 wheel drive truck. They were awesome and took the hubby to the grocery store and even took our trash away. We were able to leave only after our driveway and the gravel part of the road was salted (x 2) and plowed by the mailman's son for a reduced rate AND Vitti was driven down to the main road by a "local". Yep, the mailman's son-hubby happened to talk to the mailman about the roads and how the home owner and the rental company were not helping us get out and he gave his son a call and next thing you know, we have someone to help at about 1/2 the cost of all the others. BTW-a light SUV without 4 wheel drive and with regular not so very new tires is not appropriate for driving on snow and ice.
We had a fabulous time and it was just what I needed. Now, to make the mountains my forever home.

DIY Fabric Softener

2011-02-09T13:03:00.000-06:00

I finally nixed fabric softener all together. I now use diluted vinegar and essential oil. That's it, nothing else. I use ~3 parts vinegar and 1 part water with several drops of essential oil, using ~ 1/2 a cup per load. Much to my relief, there is no vinegar smell after the clothes come out of the dryer and the clothes are soft. BUT, I miss the fabric softener smell. Not sure if I am using the wrong type of oil or not using enough but my clothes don't have a scent when they are dry-none. I haven't noticed any static but I've read yu can use baking soda or borax in the wash to reduce it. Now, to go DIY with my detergent.

Our Winter learning theme

2011-01-28T14:24:00.002-06:00

So, our learning theme for the ~~week~~ last month has been Winter. We have learned about snow, ice, icicles, hibernating animals, and winter clothing. I have been a MAJOR slacker these past few weeks with Christmas and vacation and just general laziness. Sad to say but our book reading has been minimal along with everything else. However, we have managed to read a few books and complete a few activities/projects.
Our books for the Winter theme:
Animals in Winter
                                                                                                  Snow Day                                                                                                   First Snow
                                                                  Sugar Snow
                                                                  The Snow Lambs
                                                                  Marven of the Great North Woods
When Winter Comes
Callie Cat, Ice Skater
and more of course.
My favorite is Sugar Snow :), and R's is First Snow. The illustrations in First Snow are phenomenal. The look so lifelike and I think that's why R likes the book so much.
Our activities have included making model magic snowmen, painting with ice cubes w/ food coloring added, melting ice with salt, epsom salt painting, coloring snow men, snow pictures (shaving cream with glue), playing outside with our gloves/mittens and scarves on and if you count Christmas-playing in the snow and with icicles.
Hopefully we will get back on schedule this next month and I won't be so lazy.

Finishing my 40 things to accomplish LIST

2011-01-24T13:57:00.001-06:00

I only came up with 30 accomplishments on my previous post so here is/are (which is correct?) the rest.

31) learn the sale cycles and stock up on staples when the prices are the lowest

32) Organize my coupons

33) Buy ME some new clothes-done!!, shoes too

34) Start contributing to my 403B

35) Make myself an altered notebook

36) ORGANIZE all my learning stuff (worksheets, articles, forms)

37) Develop a learning plan for R-modifying one I found online

38) Treadmill 3 x per week

39) Paint abstract art on canvas and hang it in my home or office

40) Make it to 41 :)

Chemicals and Products

2011-01-24T11:21:00.000-06:00

Okay, I'm not one of the majorly green or thrifty/frugal kind of people but I was a bit suprised by the sheer amount of products/chemicals I use in a day-heck just in the morning.
Just this morning I used body wash, soap, face cleanser/scrub, shampoo, conditioner, defrizz/smoothing lotion, deodarant, hairspray, lotion, and toothpaste. All I can say is Oh My Gosh-that is RIDICULOUS. Oh I forgot I put on powder foundation, lip balm and gloss, perfume and have used hand sanitizer already today.
So, how to reduce all this? I'm not completely sure...I like products :) Just ask the hubby.
I am in the process of convincing the hubby to go to DIY laundry detergent and fabric softener-not sure I will have much success with giving up even more conveniences. I try to use baking soda for cleaning when possible but must admit I like soft scrub, spic and span, and scrubbing bubbles. AND the idea of vinegar for cleaning seems so icky to me, I hate hate hate the smell of vinegar.
OK, done with my random post. Will update on my changes, IF I make any.

40 Things to Accomplish this Year

2011-01-19T13:52:00.004-06:00

Since I turned 40 (GASP) last month-I decided to come up with 40 things to accomplish this year in lieu of "resolutions".
So here it goes...........
1) Add pictures to at least every third blog entry
2) Take more pictures (or have hubby do it) of R and I's art/craft/learning activities
3) Make R 2 hooded towels
4) Make at least 5 hairbows or hair accesories for R-4 down 1 to go
5) Make a hairbow holder for R from old frame
6) Put flowers on my Mom's grave-It's been almost a year and I still haven't been. Not sure when I will actually be ready, if ever, but I think I should be able to before the year is out.-as of 4/5 I've made the arrangement
7) Plant my little garden by mid March this year.
8) Lose 10 pounds (and keep it off)
9) Apply for my CAP
10) Attend at least 1 conference in Substance Abuse field-sent the check off on 3/4, conference is later in March-DONE
11) Write my Dad (or send a card) once per month-done for Jan and Feb
12) Blog post about my dreams/hopes for R-completed 3/03
13) Complete 6 scrapbook pages of R's pictures
14) Send homemade snacks to Dad x 2
15) Have 3 freezer cooking days
16) Trip to Atlanta aquarium
17) See Rock City :)
18) Plant sunflowers-4/3, in peat pots
19) Get family pictures done
20) Make personalized onesie for Brayden-my great nephew
21) Sew 4 pillowcases
22) Use a menu planner at least 2 weeks per month
23) 1 crockpot meal per month
24) Work the spring consignment sale-done
25) "applique" two shirts for R for spring
26) Bake some bread-not from a mix-done, made a honey wheat but awfully dense, not light and airy
27) Read a book just for entertainment
28) Tie dye something with R
29) Go on a date with the hubby
30) Paint our bedroom

31) OKAY, I'm stuck so I'll list 10 more later :)

I plan on making myself accountable on some of these by blogging about the finished product, result, trip, etc :)

Trip to the Mountains

2011-01-10T13:30:00.001-06:00

Our trip to Maggie Valley, North Carolina for Christmas was wonderful. I'm a tiny bit dissapointed we didn't get to go to Grove Park Inn or to see the elk but hey it SNOWED on Christmas Day.
We rented a lovely house on the side of a mountain for our trip. We had 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, 2 living areas, and 3 decks-turned out to be way more than we needed but we will know for next time. The road and driveway to the house was scary-even without snow and ice. I will definitely need some driving practice when we move. I was too scared to leave the house :(
We checked out dowtown Waynesville, went to Mingo Falls and a park beside the river in Cherokee, and explored a few shops in Maggie Valley before being snowed in. The view of Mingo Falls was spectacular but getting all 4 of us up there was SCARY. Think ice and snow and wet slippery ground with no handrails or anything to stop a fall. The falls were beautiful and the icicles majestic. So glad we braved the less than stellar conditions to see it. Little R's reaction was priceless. She kept saying "that's ALOT of water" and insisted on eating every icicle she could find..even those w/ leaves and pinestraw ...eeewwww.

Christmas Spirit

2010-12-17T11:01:00.001-06:00

I hate to say it but I'm not really in the "Christmas Spirit". I'm in more of a pensive mood this year. I cherish my family, the reality that God sent his son for me and others, and memories I have made over the years.
I'm not in the mood for parties and celebrations that really have nothing to do with Christmas is about. My efforts at decorating have been half-hearted, my baking minimal, and my other typical preparation sparse. However, I know this too shall pass. Maybe next Christmas will find me more in a celebratory type frame of mind.
I am super excited about my upcoming trip to the mountains. A little alarmed about how cold it's going to be but excited just the same. I may get to mark off something on my bucket list-waking up to snow on Christmas morning.

Merry Christmas!

Serenity Prayer

2010-12-07T16:42:00.000-06:00

God, grant us the...

Serenity to accept things we cannot change,

Courage to change the things we can, and the

Wisdom to know the difference

Patience for the things that take time

Appreciation for all that we have, and

Tolerance for those with different struggles

Freedom to live beyond the limitations of our past ways, the

Ability to feel your love for us and our love for each other and the

Strength to get up and try again even when we feel it is hopeless.

Life has been difficult this past year- I lost my Mom in February, my Dad went to an assisted living facility a few days later, my niece had a stillborn, the hubby is trying to make it in a new career, I feel as if certain individuals are trying to push me out of my father's life, my Dad seems to be slipping away, my childhood home will soon be sold, the contract for the program I work for was supposed to expire 12/31 but has been continued to 2/28, this thing called grief is sometimes overwhelming, I feel "told" what to do by many, and more.
I often times refer to the Serenity Prayer when leading group or counseling clients but rarely think about it applying to my own life but IT DOES. It's close to the whole idea of Letting Go and Letting GOD. I need lots of reminders to do just that.
All of that said, I am so glad I have my faith, my husband and my precious little girl. No matter what happens-GOD is in control.

Thankful

2010-11-23T14:04:00.001-06:00

What I am thankful for this year:

Wonderful memories
Healthy, beautiful child
My job
My father
Faith
My in-laws
Coffee
all my senses
freedom
Knowing we get to go on vacation for Christmas :)
wonderful babysitter who I completely trust
losing weight (LOTS more to go)
improving relationship with my brother
finding comfort in God's words and promises
a husband who is a part time stay at home Dad
election results
and more

Happy Thanksgiving! Rejoice and Give Thanks for all you are given.

My DIY Christmas Plans

2010-11-22T12:38:00.001-06:00

I have decided to massively simplify gift giving this year. The adults will be getting a magnetic frame/plaque, and coasters and maybe one other gift. I'm not sure what the "other" will be yet. Maybe a small decoupaged notebook for the ladies and ??????? for the guys. I was thinking maybe cakes in a jar for my Dad, but no clue for the other 3 males.
Baby R will be getting handmade blocks with animals, a set of puzzle blocks (from thrift store books), DIY bath crayons, foam shapes for the tub, DIY hooded towel, maybe some lacing shapes from foam, more felt food (not sure what yet), purchased dish set, a pillow pet, and a Baby All Gone.
If things go as planned, our Christmas will be spent in the beautiful surroundings of my ideal place. There are a lot of things that have to fall into place to make it happen but I am praying it does.

Ideas from:
http://twelvecraftstillchristmas.blogspot.com/2010/09/stuff-your-stockings-saturday-puzzle.html

http://www.filthwizardry.com/2010/09/craft-foam-bath-murals.html

http://littlebirdiesecrets.blogspot.com/2008/09/homemade-childrens-lacing-cards.html

http://www.kidskreate.com/article_1061.html

Our theme for the past few weeks-FARMS and What My Child Is Reading This Week(s)

2010-11-12T12:33:00.001-06:00

Little R is having fun with our Farm theme. I have been a little slack, umm lazy and the theme has been sparse on activities and a little lengthier than I intended. We once again checked out LOTS of books on the subject and spent tons of time reading.
Some of our books on Farms- Cock-a-Doodle Quack!Quack!, Little Farm by the Sea, Cows, Cock-a-doodle-hooooo (R's favorite), Chicken Joy on Redbean Road (my favorite), Once Upon a Farm, Seasons on the Farm, All Pigs Are Beautiful, and many more.

A few of our activities-cotton ball sheep, TP roll horse, painting cow spots, picking cotton (random spot on side of road-I know, bad mommy), stopping to look at cow farm, lots and lots of Old Macdonald Had a Farm, and others.
By far the funniest thing that happened was on Halloween at the mall. Little R went up to the Chick-Fil-A cow, waved and then proceeded to try to lift up the front of his costume near his umm..unmentionables. I was horrified and then she oh so sweetly she looked at me and said "Mom, where's the udders for milk?. I couldn't help but laugh. LOVE that girl, she makes my heart smile.

Zoo trip and Fall Festival

2010-10-26T15:16:00.001-05:00

We were planning a trip to Tuscaloosa this past weekend but decided to put it off since the hubby had a chance to work floor duty. Weekend flloor duty is a great thing in our world right now, it's when most people look for houses. So, since I had already asked off, R and I went to the Zoo on Friday.
Little R had multiple meltdowns prior to leaving the house and I considered not going at all because she was being such a difficult little thing. But alas, we went anyway and had a fabulous time. I printed out some Zoo field trip worksheets to take along and off we went. This was R's first time at a Zoo and she was super excited over most everything. She especially liked the giraffe, pigs, and lemurs. OH, and the peacocks...she tried repeatedly to catch one :) R was thrilled to be able to touch the giraffe and found the lemurs amusing. R and some other little guys were running around the lemur exhibit and the lemurs were running around following them. It was great. The playground was also a fun distraction while we stopped for a snack. So, what started out as a less than ideal day, finished perfectly. (and no potty accidents, yay!!)
And if you are wondering where the absolutely adorable outfit came from-check out www.stringbean17.com. She makes some great stuff and her blog is a blessing to read.

I must admit, I'm not a big fan of small zoos, I feel they never have enough room for the animals. This one had a few exhibits that I would consider adequate but most were TINY. I felt sorry for the animals being cooped up in such tight quarters. But, I'm glad she got to experience it.

Sunday, the family went to an outside Fall Festival at the church we attend. There were quite a few blow up activities and R loves to jump and slide so it was perfect. She wore pieces of her ladybug costume but no wings or antennae :( We were able to get a picture with all of her costume on before we left. R had a hard time waiting in line for the activities, and didn't understand why she could only jump for a certain amount of time-we are working on the ideas of sharing and waiting your turn. R had lots of fun and cried when we had to leave. I appreciate so many of the local churches having Fall or Halloween type activities. I don't want to keep R from celebrating (i use that term loosely) Halloween but I am completely against the focus on the gruesome, evil and wicked. I just can't be okay with devils, demons, bloody things, etc as entertainment and amusement.

So glad we got to do some fun things this weekend.

What am I thinking?????

2010-10-18T22:12:00.000-05:00

The past few months I have been thinking ALOT about babies. I so completely have baby fever. However, I am almost 40, the hubby is 50+, our financial situation is not good, and I never want to be pregnant again. I have never felt so bad in my entire life. Why can't adoption be more affordable????

Major Accomplishment

2010-10-12T17:28:00.001-05:00

After MONTHS of training, bribing, pleading, praying, praising, hoping, wishing, and cajoling......Little R is going to the potty on her own. Potty training R has been difficult beyond belief. My husband and I have tried all kinds of rewards, tactics, and strategies to no avail.We tried stickers, little prizes, witholding favorite TV shows, extra movie time, songs, dances, special snacks, etc-all in an attempt to get her to use the potty. Then one day it just happened. She seriously just decided she would start going to the potty. R has had a few accident free days, one with MANY accidents, and most have been 1 or 2 accident days. She has even made it through nap time dry. I can hardly contain my excitement :)
Happy Fall!

Dinosaur Unit and What My Child Is Reading This Week

2010-09-28T14:17:00.001-05:00

Our current learning theme is Dinosaurs and we are reading many books on this subject too. R's favorites are Dino-dinners-probably because it mentions poop!, Dinosaur Days, Can I Have a Stegosaurus Mom Please?, Dinosnores, Danny and the Dinosaur, and Dinos in the Snow. We are also reading Gorgonzola-a Very Stinkysaurus, Dinosaur Bob and His Adventures With the Family Lazardo, Dinosaurs (nonfiction) and The Little Dinosaur's Big Adventure. I am also using Meet the Dinosaurs, My Favorite Dinosaurs, and a few others to read excerpts out of.
R seems to be enjoying this unit, me-not so much. I was never really into dinosaurs and I'm still not. I am learning right along with Little R. She can already identify Triceratops, Stegosaurus and Tyrannosaurus Rex. So far our projects have been few and far between. We have made a TP roll Brachiosaurus-I think that's what it is (Littlefoot from Land Before Time), DIY fossils, rock dinosaur, and a dinosaur/forest painting/collage. I'm having a hard time figuring out artsy crafty things to do with this theme. Maybe I'll come up with a few more before we finish this one.

Caterpillars and Butterflies

2010-09-23T16:26:00.000-05:00

Caterpillars and Butterflies have been a pretty big deal around our house this year. The Gulf Frittalary butterflies are laying eggs by the hundreds or at least dozens on our purple passion fruit. Little R and I have successfully harbored (maybe wrong term) four caterpillars to butterflies so far. We have had 2 casualities too :(
We have not been able to see the egg to caterpillar stage. I have put leaves in our bug jar that I thought had viable eggs but no baby caterpillars yet. We have had teeny tiny caterpillars turn into butterflies. Maybe next year we will be able to watch the entire life cycle.
I can't wait for the monarchs.

More Bugs-our Themed Activities

2010-09-20T23:46:00.002-05:00

As a part of our "unit" on BUGS, little R and I spent time completing a few projects, learning about different bugs, and exploring the great outdoors.
We made a wooden bead, pipecleaner and pony bead spider; clothes pin and coffee filter butterfly, and a clothes pin and pipe cleaner dragonfly. Little R and I had tons of fun watching caterpillars turn into butterflies and learning about the life cycle. We have watched quite a few tiny caterpillars grow big and turn into butterflies. I think the most fun was exploring our yard for different types of insects. Just in our yard we found roaches, grasshoppers, spiders, ants, beetles, roly polies, bees, moths, earthworms, caterpillars, aphids, butterflies, flies, stink bugs, and a praying mantis. I was thrilled to find the mantis :)
Little R learned the three parts of a bug, but not really where they are on the bug. The most surprising part of this for me has been R's lack of fear. I try soooo hard not to let her see my fear of bugs, but she sometimes picks up on it. I do insist that only Daddies touch spiders though :)
Other activities we completed:
2 videos from the library on Insects and bugs
Counted with bugs
Talked about flyers versus walkers
Watched a lizard eat a bug

Happy learning.

What My Child Is Reading This Week-Bugs and Insects

2010-09-02T12:27:00.002-05:00

We have checked out LOTS of books over the last 2 weeks relating to our bugs and insects theme. Some have been a hit, some not so much. The hits have been The Very Ugly Bug, The Caterpillow Fight, Bob and Otto, The Big Bug Ball, and I Know an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly. The first 2 were read over and over and OVER again. Little R was able to recognize the covers to the first 3 after a few days and would say, "read Bob and Otto" or "read the Caterpillow Fight" when she saw them. Love it!!
Some of the not so liked ones- Manuelo, the Playing Mantis (just didn't hold her attention), Insects Are My Life (probably a bit too advanced), and On Beyond Bugs.
We also read a few books we already had around the house-Ten Little Ladybugs, The Very Hungry Caterpillar and A Bug's Life.
I will post soon about some of our bug/insect themed activities.

All of our Ocean Theme Activities

2010-09-02T11:06:00.001-05:00

As mentioned in a previous post, our first theme for practicing preschool was Oceans. We did lots of craft projects, read many books, and watched Shark Week and a few ocean related movies (The Reef, The Little Mermaid). I thought I would combine all of our craft and learning activities into one big post with pictures :)
Things we made/did:
craft foam crab
Ocean theme collage with magazine cutouts
Mixed media collage with stickers, seashells, tissue paper seaweed
painted seashells
counting with seashells
paperplate fishbowl
bead covered cardboard starfish
sticker fish/fishbowl counting
ate Goldfish and whale crackers
Fed the fish in our saltwater tank
Observed fish and hermit crabs in our tank
Field trip to St. Andrew's Bay

AND a still have to do-hand and footprints in wet sand. Bad mommy for putting this one off :(

She's Three-3-tres

2010-09-01T14:56:00.000-05:00

My little one turned 3 a few days ago. I can't believe my baby is 3 already. It's one of those situations where it seemd like just yesterday and forever ago at the same time that she was a tiny little thing who barely stayed awake for more than an hour at a time. I distinctly remember calling the hubby super excited to tell him she stayed awake for more than 15 minutes of our daily walk. I actually called him multiple times to say "she's still awake" as we walked. Now, we look at each other at 11:00 pm and say "Wow, she's still awake" but it has a totally new meaning. Yes, I have a little night owl/energizer bunny.
At one time in my life, I was adamant I was not having children. I was perfectly happen be childless and carefree. Then, something changed. Maybe it was the biological clock, maybe it was God, whatever it was, it happened and I found myself longing for a baby. She is definitely a gift from God and I couldn't imagine life without her.
Happy Birthday to my amazing, beautiful, loving, energetic, funny, adorable, loved, bouncy, sassy, and wonderful little girl. I love you always and forever to the moon and back.

What My Child Is Reading This Week-Ocean Theme

2010-08-03T13:17:00.000-05:00

We are still in the midst of our Ocean theme so the books R and I are reading reflect that. This week we are reading Rub-a-Dub-Sub which is R's favorite. It has rhyming words, repetition, and cartoon type characters and follows a little boy's imaginary journey. We are also "reading" Wave by Suzy Lee. This is a picture book only with simple charcoal drawings depicting a little girl's encounter with the waves and seagulls. I think this would be a great book to add to our library and maybe have R narrate a story for the pictures, possibly coming back in a year and doing the same. The other two we are reading are One Lonely Seahorse and In one tidepool : crabs, snails, and salty tails. In One Lonely Seahorse, all the pictures of sea creatures are made of food, mushroom crabs, ginger lobsters, banana dolphins, and bean eels, R was a bit confused by the pictures but I thought it was cute. I liked the repetition and rhythym of In One Tidepool and R did too.

.
I am sold on this theme or unit idea!! It provides me with the structure I need for arts and crafts type activities, books to read, and counting. I can definitely see me using a theme or unit approach to homeschooling. I

Cute stuff I know I'm going to miss

2010-07-30T14:25:00.001-05:00

Little R does and says so much cute stuff I know I'm going to miss when she gets older. That is, in between being a little terror
Some of my favorites:
I want to hold it "just a little second"
Mommy "take me a bath"
The way she says "girl", can't describe it phonetically but trust me, it's adorable
The way she sometimes leaves off the first syllables of words- member for remember, Cole for Nichole, mercial for commercial
How she runs around after a bath saying "look at my naked hiney"
The random things she focuses on-one day it's a plastic magnifying glass, the next a rubber band ball, the next her Gumby and Pokey
How she sings me a song when I'm sad
Her infatuation with garbage trucks and lizards
How she dances with such energy
And so much more.
My little R will be 3 next month. It doesn't seem possible my baby could already be that old.

More ocean theme activities

2010-07-15T13:19:00.002-05:00

R and I have been doing a few projects relating to our ocean theme the past few days. We made a collage of ocean/beach themed pictures on painted posterboard. R painted and glued on pictures I cut out of magazines. We also made a collage of foam fish, crabs and whales(leftover from her 1st b-day party), seashells, and rolled up tissue papers and streamers for seaweed. R once again painted the paper, stuck on the stickers, seashells, and tissue paper. I put the glue down for her but she was definitely not happy about it. :) I got the idea for the mixed media collage (sound so fancy that way) from this blog-http://thelittletreasures.blogspot.com/2010/06/under-sea.html
We also assembled a crab from foam. Don't remember where I found the template but I traced it on to red foam, cut it out and let R put the pieces together and add wiggly eyes.
I like using a theme-it gives me the direction and at least a little bit of organization I need. Pictures coming soon.

Trip to Library and What my child is reading this week

2010-07-13T13:10:00.000-05:00

Saturday was one of those hot, humid, miserable days so R and I went to the library. I decided to go ahead and take a stab at a theme for the next few weeks with our books and projects. I chose an ocean/beach theme since it is super easy to access hands on experiences with that here.
I checked out quite a few books while R played with Leggos and puzzles. This was the best she has acted in the library EVER. I was super impressed. Yay!!
On the way back to the car, R noticed a few baby toads. We stopped to look at them and of course she wanted to take one home. I compromised and walked to the retaining pond with her instead. OMG!!! There were hundreds of tiny little toads everywhere, some still with tails. There were a few tadpoles but it looked like most had already passed that stage.
Back to books, we are reading Sam at the Seaside, Abigail the Happy Whale, Scuba Bunnies and Over in the Ocean: In a Coral Reef this week. Over in the Ocean is my favorite. The artwork is amazing-all the pictures are of polymer clay and it combines our theme with counting and music. I looked the book up on Amazon and noticed there are more in the series Over in the Jungle and Over in the Arctic. These will be must reads for us too.

Really? You actually expect me to believe that??

2010-07-07T16:41:00.000-05:00

Honesty and believability seem to be in short supply in my realm of clients lately. I currently work as a substance abuse counselor for a non-profit agency. The majority of my clients are court ordered (dependency, some criminal, some both) and a few are voluntary but encouraged to attend by DCF.

Some of the reasons I have heard for testing positive for various drugs
-I thought it was a tylenol
-The person I had/have sex with uses
-Rode in the car with someone who was using
-Brownies :)
-Drank coffee made with filter used for drug manufacturing (unknowingly of course)
-Thought it was just a rolled cigarette
-Cleaning the dresser, counter, etc in a hotel room that had a white powder on it
-Someone put it in my chapstick
-Oral sex
-Person conducting drug test put drug into urine
-Ate poppy seed muffins, buns
-Hemp Lotion
-Found a baggie with white powder in it and decided to taste it

Reasons for testing positive for alcohol
-I use a lot of hand sanitizer
-cough syrup
-ate something with wine/sherry in it
-had candy with liquer in it
-ate rum cake
-didn't know the energy drink had alcohol in it

FYI- laboratory alcohol tests have thresholds that allow for incidental alcohol ingestion

Explanation for drug charges
-My friend threw it in my purse
-I didn't know the 50 boxes of cold medicine were for making meth
-I grew it for a dealer friend, since I had a green house and he didn't
-They left all the manufacturing materials at my house when I wan't there
-Someone put it in my glove box
-I was keeping it for someone else
-A relative left the medication at my house because she is in the process of moving (in a ziploc)
-I rented a car that had drugs in it

One of the oddest stories I've heard
- I got burned when I knocked on a friend's door, he answered and immediately tossed a bottle of "shake and bake" at me and I missed

Just thought I would share a little of what I hear on a daily basis. Sometimes it takes all I can manage to keep a straight face.

Thrift store finds

2010-06-22T16:40:00.000-05:00

The hubby, R and I went to the Thrift Store in Tuscaloosa while we were visiting my Dad for Father's Day. This store is huge and I could spend hours in there if I had the time. I found a Disney matching game in almost new condition that will be used with little R. I got 2 plates and 2 saucers to use for a tiered tray, maybe 2 trays actually. I also got 3 like new puzzles for R-1 for now and 2 that are a little advanced for her now. Plus, I found a skirt for me that is very bohemian, love it :)
The rest of our weekend was rather uneventful. I cleaned Mom and Dad's house a little, packed up some mementoes for my nieces and brother, and organized a few things. I did talk to my Dad about moving here with me, permanently or even temporarily, he made it clear he doesn't want to. On one hand I understand not wanting to move away from the town you are used to but on the other, I think, why wouldn't you rather be with family versus staying in a tiny room surrounded by strangers. I must admit, my feelings are hurt. I have so many questions I want to ask but don't. I just tell myself to love my Dad as much as I can and move on.
On Father's Day, my brother and his girlfriend came down and we all ate lunch together with my Dad. We just sat and visited with each other versus doing anything or going anywhere. It was nice to see family without the rush of going out to lunch and fighting the crowds.
Hope everyone had a good Father's Day.

Almost summer cleaning and Still on this journey called grief

2010-06-07T15:51:00.000-05:00

The hubby is on a cleaning mission. We he ~~have~~ has decided it is past time to start keeping out house cleaner and neater. I am a bit of a pack rat, I come by it honestly though (read some old posts about my parent's home). I keep stuff, LOTS of stuff. I collect stuff, not alot of it but enough. I am also unorganized. I like junk drawers. Junk drawers are my easy way out when ~~cleaning~~ umm, stashing the clutter. The husband used to be a really neat and orderly guy, he says he gave up on it because of me. I say it's because he got lazy :) Either way, our house is a bit of a mess and we are not setting a good example for little R. So, our mission for the next few weeks is purging some of the clutter, organizing what we have, dusting LOTS of stuff and spending some time cleaning the overlooked, avoided and forgot about spaces. YUCK!!!
Part of his mission involved hanging some family pictures we already had in frames. Well, he chose to hang one of my Mom that we used at the church when the family received friends. I saw it on the wall and a flurry of thoughts went through my head-wow, she looks happy there, look at her smile, my Mom is gone, I can't see her smile, will Reagan remember her?, we used the picture at the church, I should be happy she isn't in pain, I should be happy she is in heaven, when do the tears end?, and the thoughts just kept going from there. It's been a little over 3 months now and I can say things are getting a little better. I don't cry every day now..YAY!!
Miss you EGF

Garden, take two

2010-06-01T15:19:00.000-05:00

Last year, my garden was a bit of a dissapointment. Pretty much NOTHING grew. I hope this year proves to be better. So far I have planted 2 kinds of beans-1 bush bean and 1 runner, zuchini, squash, carrots, tomatoes and bellpepper, plus basil, cilantro. I have already picked some beans..YAY. We had enough for 2 tiny servings of sauteed green beans. I was incredibly excited. The zuchinni and squash don't look great but they are growing, the carrot seeds washed into a few big clumps so after being thinned I have only a few left to survive the summer. I planted 2 bellpeppers in my daylily bed and plan to add some more one day this week and I have tomatoes in various spots around the house. The tomatoes and bellpeppers both have tiny little fruits on them. If I find a spot, I think I will add some winter squash too-just don't know where to put it. I think I could double the size of my garden and I would still run out of room.
I read the book square foot gardening and tried to implement a little of it into my plan but my garden bed is laid out a bit larger so I found myself just planting in rows...with all the wasted space and weeds that go with it.
Happy Gardening

Saving $$$$$$

2010-05-21T11:21:00.000-05:00

I have discovered this new website www.Southernsavers.com and I am amazed at some of the deals you can get at local grocery stores if you just spend a few minutes here and there printing coupons, clipping coupons and making a list. The website lists the best deals and matchups with various forms of coupons.

Just yesterday I got 4 boxes of Ronzoni Pasta for $0.39 a piece by taking advantage of B1G1 and using 2 coupons of save $1 off of 2 packages, Right Guard Deodorant at $0.49 (4 of them), Green Giant Steamers (4 again) at $0.69, Simply gogurt 8 packs for $0.29 using printable $1.10 coupons in combo w/ them being on sale for $1.39 and smaller boxes of Hefty ziplocs at $0.64 a box by combining a printable coupon and the B1G1 special. YAY!! (I never knew you could use 2 coupons when getting B1G1 deals) OH, I also noticed instant mashed potatoes are B1G1 (2 for 1.25) and you can print a coupon for $0.75 off 3. So, 3 boxes of potatoes for less than $0.40 a piece. I'm not a big fan of these but I do sometimes use them when I am in a super hurry.

The website lists specific details for various stores in the South. From what I have read-Publix pretty much accepts most competitors coupons, meaning you can use a Target or Food Lion or CVS or Winn-Dixie coupon there AND a manufacturer's coupon on the same item. Really great savings. So, you can stack a store coupon with a manufacturer's coupon and of course pair those w/ B1G1. Cool!!

I will definitely be stocking up my pantry with these savings and picking up extras here and there to donate. Finances are tight at my house but there are tons of people who don't have jobs, food, a house, etc. I can certainly afford to donate a few items of food I can purchase for less than $0.75 to our local charities.

I'm going to try the CVS extra bucks thing out soon too. We will see how that goes.

Happy Shopping!!

Avoidance

2010-05-13T15:22:00.001-05:00

AVOIDANCE
Pronunciation: \ə-ˈvȯi-dən(t)s\

Function: noun

Date: 14th century

1 obsolete a : an action of emptying, vacating, or clearing away b : outlet

2 : annulment

3 : an act or practice of avoiding or withdrawing from something

Avoidance is something I very guilty of-especially these past few months. I have always avoided confrontation in my life, it's just a part of my personality. I don't like conflict (hubby might disagree a bit :0) whether my own or someone else's. Currently, I am avoiding a multitude of things such as going to my Mom's grave, taking down pictures at my Mom and Dad's house, committing to a healtheir lifestyle, enforcing a schedule for R, difficult discussions with my father, asking certain people to mind their own business and show some respect for others, and facing the mortality of my Dad.
Being a counselor, one would think I would NOT avoid such things..WRONG. I know the negative consequences of such avoidance but still do it. Some of the avoiding is very purposeful, some is not, it just gets shoved to the back of my brain by virtue of all the other stuff going on. SO, I must find a way to deal with all the emotions and situations in my life in a positive, healthy matter and stop avoiding the potential conflicts and confrontations that come along with life's ups and downs.
Counselor, counsel thyself!!!!!!

Glossy paper flowers

2010-05-12T12:47:00.001-05:00

Love, love, love these flowers made from magazine pages. I cut the circles, R chose the combos, and it was a team effort for the other steps.

Supplies needed: old magazines or scrapbook paper scraps or damaged books destined for the garbage, etc
                            scissors
                            glue stick or hot glue or all purpose glue depending on stem material used
                             paper brads (basic ones from office supply store or decorative ones from hobby store)
                             rolled magazine page or skewer or stick

Directions:
a) Cut circles from scrap paper-I used a kiddie bowl for a template-can also use graduated sizes or just adjust when cutting design
b) Fold 1 circle at a time in 1/2 a few times (same process as the paper snowflakes you made when you were a kid)
c) Cut folded circle into a petal shape, making sure the tip (pointy part) remains intact-I cut some down before shaping so I had different sizes
d) Unfold
e) choose a few sets of petals, pierce through the middle and hold together with brad
f) if using paper for stem, roll up into skinny tube, glue edge with glue stick
g) attach flower to magazine page stem with brad, may need to pierce hole w/ scissors first or glue to skewer or stick
h) fold or pinch edges of petals to add dimension

Lots of display options too-in a recycled metal can, nestled in marbles in a flower pot, stuck into moss covered styrofoam in a rectangular dish, etc (maybe not the magazine stems)

She Colors My Day

2010-05-04T12:52:00.000-05:00

I happened upon this song by Amy Grant the other day and it brought me to tears. I did a little research and discovered the story behind it. What a touching (and heart wrenching) inspiration. The song reminds me to relish and cherish the days I have with baby R, no one is promised tomorrow.

here and now i'm going to stay

in her world i'm going to play
rolling in her cartwheels,
feeling just like she feels
lost inside her curls and her sun rays
she colors my day
in red, pink, blue and shades of grey
whenever we play, she colors my day
in the night she's a flashlight
in her skin i end and begin
to a smile that's always dreaming
to a song that's always scheming
to hands that hold my own
like warm sun rays
she colors my day
in red, pink, blue and shades of grey
whenever we play, she colors my day
in a green and violet skirt
she magically plays
she colors my day
i need her light - she's warm, she's cold she feels just right
she's my best friend - she takes,
she gives, it just never ends
i feel so real - in like, in love
i'm head over heels
she's my best girl - she runs, she jumps she spins and she
twirls
— written by cristina carlino and stuart mathis, produced by stuart mathis

Take a look at the website if you would like more info http://www.shecolorsmyday.com/Home.aspx

Baking with R

2010-04-29T15:34:00.000-05:00

R and I had a fab time making homemade granola bars a few days ago. She enjoyed pouring ingredients in and stirring with lots of sampling. I used this recipe http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Chewy-Granola-Bars/Detail.aspx, with lots of tweaks. Next time I will try the original recipe first and then make adjustments. Mine are far from extra chewy but I severely changed things (less sugar, tiny bit more honey, added applesauce, and nuts and raisins and dried cranberries) around so who knows what the recipe actually turns out like. The hubby always tells me to follow the recipe the 1st time and then make adjustments, maybe next time. Mine turned out good -not chewy but not hard either. Not sure how to describe them, kinda like a bar cookie texture but not really. :) I have plenty to put in the freezer for snack time.
The hubby and I have decided to try to eat more healthy and save money at the same time. This mean less over processed convenience food and more whole, natural foods. We already make our own pizza, some breads, and just started making refried beans. It is definitely a learning experience for me. I am so NOT a cook, that is hubby's expertise. So, it is a journey of trial and errors for me. Happy cooking.

Weekend Fun

2010-04-19T14:37:00.000-05:00

We had "company" over Friday night for dinner (homemade pizza) and little R loved all the attention. My oldest niece was down here with her Aunt and her children for a short beach vacation and we got to spend some time with her. R was happy to see her Aunt Brandy and very pleased to be able to play with and boss around :) two older kids. The adults spent time reminiscing a bit while the kiddos played and watched TV.
Saturday morning EARLY I met Brandy and Sheila and her 2 at Crooked Island Beach for some shell hunting. We found some great shells and sand dollars, held a small shark, and had a good time just visiting. I'm not sure those shells were worth the irritation I am now enduring from the sand gnats though. My lower legs are covered in bites that itch incessantly. Makes me want to scream or take enough Benadryl to just sleep until the itchies go away.
We got to spend more time with Aunt Brandy on Sunday at the pool. However, Little R would not leave the pool steps willingly. The few times I got her off of them it involved crying, whining, grabbing, etc. We still had a fun time though and I actually think R was content to be sitting on the steps just playing in the water. It was a bonus for her to get to be around other kids too.
Last night R and I and her Granny baked sugar cookies. R had fun stirring, rolling out dough and using the cookie cutters (love the mini cutters from pampered chef). She even served cookies to her Granny and PawPaw. The smile was priceless.

Easter and beyond

2010-04-12T16:06:00.000-05:00

R looked adorable in her new Easter dress her Granny bought. She went to the nursery at church somewhat reluctantly but did okay so I'm told. Can you believe I didn't take a picture of her in her dress???? Yeah, me neither. We did film her hunting Easter Eggs, she was beyond funny. I am convinced 'WHERE' is her new favorite word.
This weekend we headed out to Pier Park in PCB to shop for Mommy some clothes and ride the carousel. Little R asked about the carousel and ferris wheel the entire time we shopped, but managed to keep it together until time to play. She was super excited about the carousel-until it started moving. Then she decided she wanted off and wanted to go home. R didn't completely melt down but she certainly was not happy about the ride. Right as the ride was about to stop she said "That's not so bad". That little lady makes me smile :) To complete our day we had lunch at 5 Guys Burger and Fries, visited with R's sitter who we happened to see, threw pennies into the fountain, played with toys at the toy store, played in the sand and ate rainbow popcorn. I love our mommy and me dates .

Grief

2010-03-15T14:02:00.000-05:00

This emotion called grief is so much more than just an emotion for me. It's a way of thinking, a state of being, a process to work through, an explanation of why I am the way I am right now, and even more.
My grief started months ago when I realized my mother was not getting better mentally. I started grieving then for the Mom I knew, the one who was no longer there. This grief was something I faced everyday when I was on the phone with her or with just Dad when I would hear her say " tell her I Love her, that's enough". I made that call every afternoon as I drove home from work and every afternoon I would arrive home in tears. Poor little R was so confused by my tears, my silence, my desire to be alone-she would sometimes come up to me and pat me and say Mommy, it's okay, don't cry.
I'm not sure when I realized or accepted that my Mom's cancer was terminal this time. I think I knew it from the time she told me, right before our trip to Mobile and Bellingrath Gardens. I remember talking to her about chemo and reassuring her she didn't have to go through it again if she didn't want to. I wanted her to know then that she didn't have to keep fighting if she was ready to go home to Heaven. She of course decided to go ahead with chemo and fight the disease, but it was short lived.
Seeing my Mom so helpless and such a shell of her true self helped me accept her prognosis. Each time I helped her dress, bathe, eat, transfer, etc, I began to let go of my hopes of her getting better. It felt like I was letting go of a huge bunch of balloons one by one-sad to see each one float away but relieved there were less to hold on to.
It's been a little over 2 weeks since Mom died and I still have times when tears well up for no reason. I am distracted, lost in random thoughts, unmotivated, cranky, irritable, emotional, and the list goes on. I've completely lost my composure a few times in the car and in the shower. I try to maintain when I am around others. I'm one of those people who feel crying is something you do alone or with a close friend/companion, not in front of people. For me, grief is a very personal experience, one I choose not to share with many people. Sharing it here is cathartic for me and somehow okay since at least my tears are private.
On a different note, no matter how much the hubby and I argue, disagree, fued, etc-he holds my heart. Hubby was there for my Mom when my emotions wouldn't allow me too. He held her hand while she took her last breaths. The fact he did this proves he is an amazing man, even if I sometimes forget he is. I <3 RLB

EGF, Always in my heart

RIP Mom

2010-03-05T16:28:00.000-06:00

Eleanor Gray Fulmer went home to be with the Lord on 2/25/2010. She will be missed by many, especially me.

God looked around His garden

And found an empty place.

He then looked down upon the earth

And saw your tired face.

He put his arms around you

And lifted you to rest.

God’s garden must be beautiful

He always takes the best.

He saw the road was getting rough

And the hills were hard to climb,

So He closed your weary eyelids

And whispered "Peace be thine".

It broke our hearts to lose you

But you didn’t go alone,

For part of us went with you

The day God called you home.

I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow;
I am the diamond glints on the snow.
I am the sunlight that ripened grain;
I am the gentle autumns’s rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush,
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft star that shines at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there;
I did not die.

Memories

2010-03-05T16:24:00.000-06:00

As the time of my mother's death draws closer, I am trying to remember all the fun times we spent together as mother and daughter, and as a family.
With the recent snow in Alabama, I was reminded of a trip my Mom and I took to Mobile in 1992 or 1993. We went down for my interview for physical therapy school, with the intention of spending just one night. Mother Nature had other plans. As we were driving back north, the snow started falling, quicker, harder, bigger-whatever words you use for LOTS of snow. It finally got bad enough that I felt I couldn't see good enough to drive safely, so we stopped at the first hotel we came to. We ended up on the outskirts of Thomasville in a little crappy motel with NO amenities-zero, nada, zilch. We check in the hotel and do our best to get some sleep after watching the weather. Morning comes, we are starving so I go to the desk and inquire about the roads, which we find out are closed until at least noon.
BY this time, I'm starving and wanting to go somewhere for breakfast, that wasn't a possibility because of the roads. So, we ended up going to the convenience store across the street and grabbing stuff from there. I assumed we would at least be able to venture into the town for lunch, wrong. After spending the morning calling my Dad and some relatives, we spent the rest of the morning watching TV and joking about the whole situation. Lunch time rolls around and we just catch the news report that the roads going north are closed for the rest of the day. ACK!!! We have no more clean clothes!
With that lovely news in mind, mom and I attempt to drive into town, no luck there, the tires just spin on the ice in the parking lot and I have to coax the land barge back into a parking spot which was no easy feat for a Southern girl. I of course then made the trek over to the convenience store to scavenge food for lunch. Thank goodness for microwaves :) This type of routine goes on for another day until the roads open up. We actually washed our clothes in the sink with shampoo, added conditioner to the rinse water for fabric softener and dried them on top of the heater. How's that for improvisation???
By the time we were able to leave, the car was covered in snow and ice and I was certainly not equipped to shovel (or whatever you call it) snow off the car. So, more improvising with a hotel garbage can and hot water from the tub. The drive home was pretty uneventful except for 2 spots that required being pulled through the snow and ice. You have to love guys in trucks with a wench who just stay in a spot and help people who get stuck. I heart the South :) The short trip home did take forever but it was worth it to be in our own beds and have real CLEAN clothes.

This post was still in draft form and I finished it today (3/5), one week and a day since my Mom went to Heaven.

Normalcy

2010-02-11T11:52:00.001-06:00

I am trying to maintain at least some sense of normalcy in the household throughout these trying times. This week R and I (and Dad too) have worked with hearts-coloring, counting and identifying smallest and largest. We will use some of these as Valentines for the grandparents.
Last night all of us made a devil's food cake to take with us to Alabama-with a few slices sampled of course. R did most of the adding of ingredients, turned on the mixer, and helped pour the batter into the pans. She was so proud! She kept saying "my first cake". Precious.
I have to include how the cake baking came to be.... R and the hubby went to the grocery store on Wednesday. When hubby went to check out, there was a cake mix in the cart he didn't put in there. Our little chocaholic snagged it and added it in. Hubby says she insisted on holder her chocolate the entire way home and he spent quite a while explaining to her she couldn't eat it right then.

Tears

2010-02-04T15:10:00.001-06:00

I feel like I have shed a million tears over the past few days, and millions more over the past few months. I know there are even more millions to come.

My heart aches, my entire body hurts and I feel as if I am walking around in a daze. My Mom's health continues to decline and my father has finally admitted he can no longer meet her needs by himself. She requires almost total care now-she needs help in and out of bed, in and out of the chair, with toileting, dressing, etc. Right now she is in the hospital because she is unable to hold food down and is very weak. So far, I know nothing about her condition except for her vital signs are stable. Not knowing is sometimes much worse than the alternative. I know death is coming soon for her and I have accepted that. I understand I will see her again and we will be a forever family. I just want her pain and suffering to end, I want her to be calm and at peace.

I am still hoping to get both of my parents unto an assisted living facility in the next few weeks. Technically, Mom is too severe for one but they are willing to give Dad the extra help until Hospice can be called in. She can't get into an ALF while under Hospice so we are waiting for her to move in and then get her started with them.

On another front, my oldest niece just suffered a major loss. Baby Nora was due 2/12/2010 and she went home to GOD on Monday. My niece went to her Doctor's appointment Monday and they couldn't find a heartbeat, same thing at the hospital. Labor was induced on Tuesday and baby Nora was born hours later. The doctors have no real explanation at this point. There is a possibility the cord was kinked or something comparable. My heart just breaks for my niece-she was so excited about Nora. She was truly the happiest I had seen her in years. She did everything right in her pregnancy-no alcohol, no smoking, no caffeine, eating healthy, etc. I know sometimes things just happen but it is so hard to accept. No one has told my father about the baby yet and neither my brother nor I want to, even though we know it's necessary. I do have a dear cousin who is a counselor and close to the family who has offered to come in from out of town and be with my parents when my brother tells them.

All of this leaves me feeling like I should be 3 places at once. I need to be at work-I have obligations there not to mention upcoming subpoenas. I need to be with my Mom and Dad and I need to be with my niece and brother. What to do???????????? I'm praying fervently for strength and guidance but am also experiencing some wavering in my faith. That too makes me feel guilty. So for now, I am walking around in a daze from lack of sleep, massive stress, and overwhelming emotions.

Toddler Art

2010-01-23T20:31:00.000-06:00

Thought I would share some of R's art- We used these for grandparent gifts and hubby got one too. R used watercolors on canvas. She enjoyed the splattering part the most :)

Holiday rewind

2010-01-04T14:20:00.000-06:00

Our holidays were rather uneventful this year-which is a good thing. We spent Christmas week in Alabama with my parents and my brother and his 2 girls were there for Christmas Eve and Christmas day. I was a little dissapointed the hubby's daughters didn't come down for a day to see their little sister but all in all, everything went well.
Once again, we had the traditional breakfast casserole (Cracker Barrel knock off) and a pretty simple lunch. Christmas lunch was:
Smoked turkey breast from Honey Baked Ham
Coleslaw leftover from Christmas Eve
Sweet Potato casserole
Chicken and dressing-my MIL's recipe
Veggie casserole prepared by my niece
Homemade rolls from someone at Mom and Dad's church
Banana cream pie my niece made
I thought about making a pecan pie but decided against it. Mom and Dad already had a cake someone brought over and cookies and candy sent by my MIL. The last thing we needed was more sweets.
Christmas morning was too funny. The hubby and I were up drinking coffee, not expecting little one up for quite a while since she was up so late the night before. Well, little gets up without saying anything and walks into the livingroom and sees her tricycle. I hear her say "that's mine" so I yell for the hubby to get her. He runs, picks her up and whisks her back into the bedroom while I cover up her Santa toys with a blanket. I then occupied R long enough for the hubby to get the video camera so we could tape her seeing the Santa toys. Poor kid was so confused :)
Finances were/are tight for everyone this year so the gifts were simple and that was okay for me. I actually enjoyed Christmas more because there was no rush to wrap, find, buy, make those last minute items. We got to focus on The Reason for the Season and being together as a family.
On another note: No pattern sewing is NOT for me. 1st pair of pjs I forgot to stretch the waist out before cutting, 2nd pair-not sure what happened but they were lopsided-majorly. So, no matching PJs this year. I think I'll look for winter themed fabric in the next couple of weeks and buy a pattern so I can start early for this Christmas 2010.
I did get alot done at my parent's home during the week. You can't tell but I made 3 trips to the thrift store with the back of my car stuffed, put a small chest of drawers and bookshelf out on the street for pickup and threw away massive amounts of trash. My hubby put in a handheld shower to make it easier for my Mom to get a bath. I also put 10 + meals in the freezer for the parents to have for dinner. My next trip will involve cleaning out the kitchen-Mom has enough dishes to serve an army.

Trip home-Looking forward to and dreading at the same time

2009-12-18T12:04:00.000-06:00

The hubby, little R and I will be spending Christmas with my parents in their home this year. I'm looking forward to everyone being together one last time-my brother and his girls will be there too. I'm also glad that I will be able to give my Dad a break from the caregiver role for a few days and give him a chance to get out of the house without feeling guilty.
However, if I am truly honest with myself, I am also dreading it just a bit. My Mom's condition is not good, there is very little left of the woman I remember. My Dad is declining quickly too. I know my brother and I have to have a very direct, uncomfortable conversation with my father about my mom's condition and his plans for after she is gone. Up to this point, he has just said we will cross that bridge once we get to it. My Dad and I share a dislike of confronting the uncomfortable, so I definitely know where he is coming from. It has come to the point where plans must be made and preparations must be started.
Our trip will also include some major cleaning out of the parent's house. My Dad is a saver of all things-he came up in the depression, his family was impoverished, and they went without the things I would call neccesities. Because of this, he keeps EVERYTHING!! He feels if it costs money you should keep it, no matter if it is broken, useless, etc. My Mom was the type to buy stuff, lots of stuff, and sometimes use it, sometimes not. She also would buy for other people and sometimes forget to give it to them or misplace it. Mom also would collect clothing, houseware, books, etc that people were giving away with the intention of giving it to someone in need or just someone who might appreciate it and those things too would sometimes end up staying in the house. She enjoyed buying and enjoyed helping others, it was just sometimes to an excess. So, bottom line, I have a TON of stuff to go through and decide what should be donated, thrown away or possibly put on ebay. I'm guessing alot of things will just be trashed.
I know I will enjoy our time together and the memories we make. The busy stuff and other details will just be fleeting.

Merry Christmas
Feliz Navidad

Handmade Christmas

2009-12-14T13:22:00.000-06:00

I still have tons to do with ONLY 11 days left...panic is setting in. Well, not really but kinda close.
Finished so far:
Purple tutu for baby R w/ matching tutu for doll
Fairy wreath w/ purple flowers for baby R and a matching one for doll
Pink tutu
Fairy head wreath w/ pink flowers
Felt strawberries, sunny side up egg, pancakes, bacon, lettuce, tomato, ravioli and bow tie pasta
Flavored Vodka
Shaving soap in mug for the guys
Pink fairy wand
Purple fairy wand
Altered clipboards x 4
Refrigerator magnets x a bunch
Flower clips x 10
Banana cake in jar

STILL LEFT TO MAKE:
Felt food: bread, cookies, sauce for ravioli
PJ pants x 3 for Christmas eve
Herbal soap
Applique tees
Magnetic paper dolls-taking these w/ me to cut out on the way out of town
2 fabric drawstring bags for felt food and magnetic stuff
cookies w/ Splenda
More cakes in a jar
if I have time-bow holder x 2, I was thinking I could take paint and brushes and ribbon w/ me out of town
4 picture frames to paint or decoupage or something
Coasters are another maybe-decoupaged -I could do these while out of town too.

I am most concerned about the PJ pants. My sewing skills are extremely lacking and I'm thinking this may be above my skill level but I was unable to find matching sets for adults and toddlers at a price I was willing to pay. So, to keep with the tradition of matching PJ's, I will give it a go. I did find absolutely adorable fabric at JoAnne's-yellow rubber duckies on a snowflake background.

A look back

2009-12-10T10:16:00.000-06:00

At the beginning of this year I came up with a few goals to work on. Here is what they were:

- Spend more active time with baby-DONE-The hubby and I make it a point to take her outside to play, dance around the house, play chase, etc

- Less TV more music or even silence-Partially Done-still working on it

- PURGE the clutter [massively hard for me-I like stuff:)]-DONE-but need to do more, the next step is my massive crafting stash

- Learn to sew ruffles on jeans and skirts-NOT DONE-I have made 1 skirt w/ a ruffle-not a pretty sight but I let her wear it anyway

- establish a bedtime routine for baby R-HAHAHA-that should say it all

- stick to bedtime routine-refer to previous answer

- try out the freezer cooking method-DONE-now, I need to do it again

- Have at least 5 meals in the freezer at ALL times-umm, once again, refer above answer

- More fruits and veggies for me and the hubby-Partially Done

WOW, I have alot to work on.

Christmas Advent

2009-12-02T12:33:00.000-06:00

I made a super simple advent paper chain for our family this year. This is completely new for me as we did not do this in our family nor do I remember anyone else doing it. So, after reading about it on numerous blogs, I gave it a try. The aesthetics of it are less than spectactular and it still doesn't have a safe home but we started our special activities last night.
Our first activity was coloring Christmas pictures-both secular and Christian. Other activities included in the advent are:
Make cinnamon ornaments
Make pipecleaner and bead ornaments
Put up tree and decorate
Gather natural materials for decorating the house
Hang wreaths and lights
Decorate cookies
Drive around and look at lights
Make green Rice Krispy treats
Watch Christmas movies
Camp out around the tree
Hot chocolate and jiffy pop
Make smores (hopefully on the fire)
Make handrpint and footprint reindeer
Handprint on canvas for present for Dad
Paint on canvas for grandparent gifts
Singing Christmas carols

Some of the activities are repeats (coloring, movie, singing) but I think there are enough unique ones to make it interesting. Maybe I'll get the hubby to make a fancy advent tree in the workshop for next year :)

What my child is reading this week

2009-11-22T22:56:00.001-06:00

This is my first meme and it is part of Mouse Grows, Mouse Learns.

R's newest favorite book is Where Is My Teddy Bear? by Erica Bing. I looked all over the net and didn't find a picture. The book teaches prepositions in a short, direct, fun manner. The approach is a question, answer format about everyday objects. The page with the answer has flaps to open to discover where the object is. R has it almost memorized. Cute.

This magnetic was supposed to be a Christmas present but the hubby gave it to R for some reason. She likes moving the magnetic animals around but doesn't really have alot of interest in doing it in an interactive way. The book has prompts for the child to place the animals in certain places.

We are also reading bible stories from this fold out book. R enjoys the pictures and the stories are short. We've read The Noisiest Boat (noah's ark) and A Fierce Giant and a Brave Boy (david and goliath)I plan on using The Night Jesus Was Born which is in this book as part of our advent too.

Cakes in a jar and cranberry vodka

2009-11-22T22:16:00.000-06:00

Today was a busy day-besides the typical taking care of baby and cleaning, I got started on more Christmas gifts.

The first was cranberry vodka. I thought about cranberry liquer but decided on just the flavored vodka-same idea just no sugar.

MY RECIPE for Cranberry Vodka:

1 liter of vodka-don't go for the cheapo stuff

1 bag of cranberries-chopped

peel of 1 lemon-grated

peel of 1 orange-grated

Dump together in a sterilized glass container with lid and let steep for at least 2 weeks

Shake every day

When ready to bottle, strain solids and rebottle in glass container.

I plan on using 2 yard sale find glass containers w/ stoppers-originally from Pier 1 and possibly an old blue wine bottle if needed.

I also just got through making Cakes in a Jar. This idea seems way weird to me. You bake a cake, any cake in a canning jar and seal it. Sounds simple though. I used this recipe- http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Banana-Nut-Cake/Detail.aspx since I had lots of yucky looking bananas hanging around in the freezer. I used 1/2 pint (8 oz) Jars and filled them approximately 1/2 full.

If these work, I'll probably try a pound cake of some kind next. A brown sugar one sounds good but most of the recipes I have come across call for shortening. I refuse to use shortening.

I actually hear a few pops..the jars are sealing :)

Felt food

2009-11-18T00:10:00.001-06:00

Last night was my first attempt at felt food. I made 1 (one, uno) strawberry. I now know why a product made from 55 cents worth of materials costs much more. I made a simple strawberry and it seemed to take forever. and I NEVER figured out how to make a french knot. All the tutorials said it was easy to moderatley easy. Well, my over-educated, master's degree brain was unable to figure it out.

I guess if I plan to make more stuff, I better get busy on it. At the rate I sew, I will be working all night Christmas Eve to get finished.

I have plans to make: more strawberries, 2 slices of bread, lettuce, tomato, bacon, slice of cheese, sunny side up egg, chocolate chip cookies x 2, a doughnut w/ icing and sprinkles, pancake w/ syrup and butter, and some type of meat. Now that I think about it, maybe I should pare the list down and complete the others by her birthday.

Head wreath/fairy crown

2009-11-13T10:55:00.001-06:00

I made little R a fairy crown last night in a little over an hour-including MANY interruptions. I wasn't completely pleased with the results but it wasn't bad for my first try. I used white floral wire, white floral tape, various tiny flowers and 4 bead picks. I still need to add ribbons to the back-possibly with a few beads kept on with knots.
I think it will add a nice touch to her fairy wand and tutu I am working on for Christmas.
I've made these before for costumnes but always used ivy type greenery for a base-never just wire. For a little girl, I think I like these are much better. A big greenery based one might look a bit out of place on a toddler. Pictures to come.

Totally random post about unrelated subjects

2009-10-25T09:28:00.002-05:00

BE WARNED: This post is a scattered one, kind of like my brain right now.

R says the cutest things :) Her newest word is rainbrella. I love it. Oh and yesterday she wanted her temperature (of course it sounds quite a bit different coming from her). She actually wanted her play thermometer. On the not so cute side she is now saying shut up. Hubby is to blame for that one, not that I don't occasionally say it to him. I know, bad example. AND, she now announces to the world her bodily functions. Friday in Target everyone close by knew she had gas, because she told them, repeatedly.

I'm working on her Halloween costume: black and red tutu, wings from clotheshangers and pantyhose, red t-shirt w/ felt circles or painted dots and a head band with pipecleaner and painted styrofoam balls for antennae.

Robert had his first showings yesterday. Yea!! He has an open house with another agent today. Yea again but wish he could go with us instead. I'm planning on taking R to a pumpkin patch/farm about an hour away.

There is not much change in Mom's health that I know of. I do know she sounds a little weaker. I think she is getting more confused but I really can't tell. She barely talks to me on the phone now. I used to have to tell her I had to go 4 or 5 times before she stopped talking. Never thought I would miss it :(

I'm off to get everything ready for our little excursion. Have a blessed day.

ADDED: Pictures from our trip and one from a sunflower field on the way back.

Handmade/homemade/crafted Christmas

2009-10-13T17:03:00.000-05:00

As tradition goes at my house, most everyone will be getting at least 1 homemade gift. I always have a hard time coming up with ideas for the guys-you can't give a guy a ribboned, jeweled and glittered I think a homemade gifts says "I care" more than many(or even most) standard retail purchased items. This year my plans are to make:

For the girls- both big and small:
*Fairy wands-dowels with ribbons, stars, glitter
*Appliqued onesies or tees
*Flower pins/clips-dollar store and clearance artificial flowers stacked and jewels or buttons added for the center on pins or hair clips
*Notebook purses- tutorial from Cuegly
*Altered clipboards-basic wooden clipboards with added scrapbook paper and embellishments
*Bow holder- made with picture frame and ribbons

For the guys:
*Flavored vodka-pomegranite, cranberry, maybe mango?, with martini glasses and drink recipes. I need a cute design for the recipe cards. I was thinking notecards connected by binder rings
*personalized notepads tutorial from Chica and Jo Maybe using recycled paper?? Definitely w/ a custom stamp and maybe color copies-don't want to stamp a 100 pieces of paper
*cookies- not sure what kinds yet
*cake in a jar- I've seen lots of how to's for these. Hoping I can find one with instructions for frosting too

I will also most likely do a few mixes in a jar for my parents. Dad doesn't do alot of cooking nowdays and Mom isn't able to. I have a cookbook from a church with lots of ideas for mixes you add to ground beef to make a meal-pasta or rice +spices and canned sauce.

I'm starting now so hopefully all will be done by Christmas. Originally, our plans were to spend Christmas in Western NC, specifically Maggie Valley. However, with my Mom not doing well, and finances being INCREDIBLY tight, that is a no go. Right now, our plans are up in the air. I'm guessing we will go to Alabama and spend Christmas with my parents. I'm hoping my brother will do the same thing and we can all be together on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. As much as I don't want it to be, I am pretty sure this will be my last Christmas with my Mom. I get tears just thinking about it but I have to be realistic and seize the moment.

Happy crafting-----

Western NC-where I want to be

2009-10-10T01:36:00.001-05:00

Just wanted to post some pictures of where I want to by 2012.

The beach is beautiful and I do love snorkeling, swimming and looking for seashells. But.....we have no seasons, it is massively hot, and the beaches here are over populated in my opinion.

I am ready for seasons, waterfalls, mountain air, changing leaves, apple orchards, rock hounding, mountain streams, and the list goes on.

Traditions

2009-09-23T11:26:00.000-05:00

Traditions:

- the passing down of elements of a culture from generation to generation, especially by oral communication.

- a mode of thought or behavior followed by a people continuously from generation to generation; a custom or usage.

- a time-honored practice or set of such practices.

- the handing down of statements, beliefs, legends, customs, information, etc., from generation to generation, esp. by word of mouth or by practice

- a long-established or inherited way of thinking or acting: The rebellious students wanted to break with tradition.

Why I think traditions important

provide a sense of security, even when times are rough or uncertain, traditions carry on

provide a sense of belonging, things done together bring you closer

provide a sense of identity, being a part of a family

provides lasting memories

allows parents to impart values

Traditions are a bit new to me, not that we didn't have them growing up-I just didn't see them that way. We did have some-opening presents Christmas Eve, visiting with family on Christmas Day, I ALWAYS had an easter basket of some kind-even as a college student, and I'm sure more than aren't coming to mind right now.
As a relatively new mom (2 years is still new ;}), I am trying to start meaningful traditions for our family. Some things we have started
-new matching pjs for Christmas Eve-this year I will attempt to sew pj pants myself
-new Christmas ornament for R every year-one that has a special meaning-saved for her when she has a family of her own
-picture of us hanging the ornament on the tree
-Christmas Day at OUR home
-birthday presents for R wrapped in plain paper with words that describe her written onn them
-Friday nights are "kid" food night-pizza, burgers, hot dogs, etc
-one TV free night per week (still working on this one), will later be a game night too
-reading to R every day, will hopefully progress to her reading to me-I know this one won't last forever but I can drag it out as long as possible

Things I would like to implement:
-weekly trip to library
-special birthday meal
-picking fruit at a farm every year
-yearly picture of R on her birthday and 1st day of school(or hopefully homeschool) and New Years (or hopefully homeschool) in front of house
-monthly picnic-inside if need be according to the weather
-and so many more!!

Happy memory making!

Birthday Party

2009-09-21T18:46:00.003-05:00

Little R had a small birthday party with just family-and a few we consider family. Ok-this post has been a draft for a while..she was 2 over a month ago :)
Instead of cake-we had cupcakes-no ice cream, and only a few other snack items. This was an informal party-no invitations, no real decorating-just some streamers, a birthday banner and a few balloons for her chair. I did go with a theme-jungle animals. She wore an outfit a friend made (plug-www.stringbean17.etsy.com), and the cupcakes were decorated like monkey faces. We also requested no gifts but of course she got some anyway.
I ordered her gifts from my Mom and Dad from Amazon.com-she got a pretend Dyson that does pick up paper, band in a box by Melissa and Doug, and a cutting activity. The food cutting practice activity set is so incredibly neat and baby R likes it. Maybe I'll write a review! The hubby made her an chalkboard/easel/magnetic board and I bought various art supplies to go with it.. I was super impressed with his handiwork! Just so happened her sister Kiki got her magnet dress up dolls (think paper dolls w/ magnetic stuff) and Erica got her a puzzle type doll w/ magnetic clothes. She also got clothes, a little people castle, a doll that is interactive-she says certain things according to how you place her hands, $50 for her college fund, and other stuff I am forgetting.
We all had a great time and the birthday fairy even stopped by unexpectedly-complete w/ sparkly gown, wings and a mask. Thanks Julie-you're an awesome neighbor :)

It's never enough

2009-08-31T15:11:00.006-05:00

Things have been hectic, stressful, emotional, heart wrenching-and the list goes on-in my little corner of the world.
I called my parents in Alabama on Tuesday to find out my Dad was in the ER w/ high blood pressure and my Mom was home by herself and completely panicked. I happened to be in the grocery store parking lot when I called so I hurriedly did my shopping and returned home. I spent double what I usually do b/c I forgot to use coupons, didn't look at the sales and didn't bother comparing prices.
After some discussion with the hubby and relatives in Tuscaloosa-we hurriedly packed some clothes and baby essentials and left for AL at 9 pm. We arrived a little before 3 am and got a little sleep before the whirlwind started.
Turns out-my Mom is much worse than I thought. She is lethargic, confused, and incredibly weak. She is barely eating, not drinking enough, and can't remember anything. My Dad either didn't realize how bad she was or was trying to protect me-still not sure which. After a trip to the hospital to see my Dad-who was doing okay, I made my Mom an appointment to see her GP and started getting busy with making phone calls to various agencies and finding out what was available. Unfortunately, Mom and Dad don't qualify for alot of services but at least I found a few.
My Mom's doctor visit was uneventful except for a conversation I had with her physician outside of the room. He said the chemo may have to stop because my Mom is so weak. Unless there is a drastic change-her body can't handle anymore. Then he said Hospice may be our best option at this point. I'm usually pretty tough-but this one word caused me to lose my composure in a matter of seconds. I knew my Mom didn't have long, but to hear the doc confirm she most likely has less than 6 months was devastating. I contemplated what to do with this information for awhile and decided to at least share a portion of it with my parents and their relatives. I didn't tell my Mom and Dad about the 6 month time frame-I just couldn't. I did tell them both that if she didn't get stronger, chemo was not an option. I'm not sure if Mom was lucid or not but she did understand that without chemo her cancer will continue to worsen and essentially she will die.
Mom and I spent some very tearful moments discussing her options. I let her know it was okay to stop chemo, I told her I understood if she wanted to just live her last months without all the ill effects of the medicine. She is adamant she wants to continue with the treatments. The oncologist did tell me the chemo is working-the lesions in her liver are shrinking and the ones in her bones are stable. I had this conversation with my Dad too-he tends to avoid emotional conversations and decisions so I don't know where he stands on this.
Back to Dad-the CAT scan of his brain showed an OLD stroke, but nothing new-there were also some vascular changes in the brain. The MRI was essentially "unremarkable". There was some ischemia maybe from another small stroke but most likely just from age. So, medically, he is okay. Mentally-he is exhausted and exasperated from caring for Mom. Physically-he is worn down, Mom keeps him busy all the time. He has to fix all her food and liquids, give her medication, help her get dressed, bathe, toilet, etc. He is having a hard time keeping track of his own medication-being responsible for Mom's just adds to his confusion. Plus, he is so forgetful. He will start to fix something for Mom and get side tracked and forget to go back and finish it (things such as meds, food, etc). He also tends to either forget or not realize how bad Mom is and sometimes ignores some of her needs or gives her a choice of doing things or not (doesn't cut her food, asks her what she wants to eat and not insisting if she says she's not hungry, doesn't remind her to brush her teeth, doesn't insist she changes clothes in the morning and before bed, etc). Bless his heart-he is so stressed.
I know this post is scattered-I'm mainly just getting my feelings out there-not trying to inform anyone of anything except just what is going on in my head. If relatives read this and are offended-so be it. I am expressing my feelings, plain and simple. Everyone has emotions, thoughts, feelings on certain areas-I am choosing to express mine here. No one needs to explain themselves to me, just as I do not have to explain myself to them. Feelings are neither right or wrong-they just are.
Emotionally-I am a wreck. I feel as if I should be there for them-I feel so much guilt about coming back to Florida. I feel I should have done more while I was there. I feel even more guilt knowing I won't be able to go back until the end of September. I am hurt and angry that my brother won't commit to coming a certain day at least every other week. His children are grown, he only works at his main job 4 days a week plus one weekend a month. I have a 2 year old, am the sole income for my family right now, am on call 2 weeks out of the month and work 2 to 3 Saturdays a month. I am upset and angry with certain people- know they have stayed at the hospital and brought some food over but some of the ones who live close by, others who live maybe an hour away- think that is enough. I understand it isn't their responsibility but I had hoped they would do more out of a feeling of loyalty to family and christian compassion. My parents need help with almost everything. My Dad especially needs: someone to just sit and talk to or just sit with him, help with encouraging Mom to eat and do something besides sleep, help with fixing her snacks, reminders about medications-his and hers, someone to take them to their appointments and to take notes about instructions, somebody to do a few handyman things around the house, wash clothes, someone to volunteer to stay w/ Mom while he goes to the store or walks at the mall, etc. There are some relatives who have agreed to come by and help with these things as well as those who have already and I am forever grateful to them. Many of the others-I am gravely disappointed in. I am worried I won't get to see my Mom again-at least on this earth. I'm scared that if my Mom passes away, my Dad will go right behind her. I feel guilty about living so far away. I wish they would have moved here years ago. I'm worried little R won't remember my Mom and Dad. Needless to say-my emotions are overwhelming right now. I feel as if I am on a sinking ship with no life preserver and no lifeboats in sight.
I keep reminding myself God is in control and he is the lifeboat but I am having a hard time giving up the wheel.
Little R was such a trooper through all this. She was an awesome traveler and managed to take all the chaos in stride most of the time. She understood something was going on. She spent alot of time playing with my Mom's feet, shoes, blanket, etc. She even brought her toys over to the recliner where Mom stayed most of the time, and played with them on the foot rest while Mom slept. She is my little ray of sunshine :)
I could keep going about many things but I will stop for now. I ask for your prayers for myself and my family.

Homemade playdough

2009-08-20T11:49:00.005-05:00

R and I had a fun time making playdough this past week. We used a recipe from a craft book we have but there are TONS of recipes out there.

We used:

2 cups flour
2 cups warm water
1 cup salt
2 Tablespoons vegetable oil
1 Tablespoon cream of tartar

The recipe recommends slowly adding the water to just the flour and salt mixture-I just dumped everything in and stirred alot over medium low heat. I stopped cooking when the mixture was hard to stir, then let it cool for awhile in the pot. I then scooped the dough out and put it on waxed paper to finish cooling. The dough still felt sticky to me so I sprinkled some corn starch on it and kneaded it in.
From there I added a little orange essential oil for fragrance and hopefully preserving. I separated the dough into 4 parts and added food coloring. R chose which colors except for orange-that was my idea.
The results were great!! Well, except for the orange which looks kinda like pureed pumpkin- not what I was shooting for.
This could be a great lesson for ratios, measuring, color blending, and the science behind how heating a mixture of liquid and powder makes a solid mass.
Playing with our creation was even more FUN.

2, two. dos, twee, deux, do'

2009-08-20T09:36:00.004-05:00

I am now officially the mother of a 2 year old. I think she has been in the "trying 2's" for at least a couple of months already. Almost anything is worthy of a meltdown depending on her mood, lack of sleep, etc. However, she makes up for it in kisses, hugs, "love me's" and general cuteness.
I took off from work on her birthday so we could spend it together. We went shopping for books and practical life supplies, ate lunch, played on an inside playground, cooked dinner together and went to Krispy Kreme. The hubby and I had doughnuts, R decided she didn't want hers or ours and of course thought the floor was a better place than her napkin for the food to reside.
It is so true that the years fly by and you should enjoy them. It is hard to believe I first held her in my arms over 2 years ago..it seems like only a few days ago and at other times-a lifetime ago. I have learned so much in these 2 years. I now understand why you should nap when baby naps; I no longer pick up toys constantly-as long as there is a path, it's okay; sometimes, it's okay to let her watch cartoons for an hour-I need the break; kids really do repeat what they hear; some days are exasperating but the other days far outweigh those kind; parenting is not easy but it is rewarding; and so much more!!

I prefer uneventful

2009-08-07T13:35:00.002-05:00

This past week has been a rollercoaster in my world.
My Mom went back in the hospital due to mutiple problems centering around her cancer and chemotherapy-worry, scared, sad, fear
She is out now and home health is in place to come out at least once a week-relief
Hubby's new career is starting-excited
-it is commision only-scared, terrified, anxious
Babysitter's daughter fell and hit her head and was unconscious for a few seconds-empathy
-she is okay though-happy, glad
Neighbor's little boy has a high fever and had a febrile (hopefully) seizure-empathy, fright
Hubby and I picked up the twin brother from the ER and kept him for a night-not sure how to describe this feeling- I just know I was glad to be able to help out
Tragic but not fatal incident I can't discuss because of HIPAA laws-panic, fright, sad, questioning, scared

I'm ready for a nice, quiet, uneventful weekend!!

Fun filled days of summer

2009-07-28T00:54:00.009-05:00

R and I have done a lot the past few days-painting with watercolors, talking about weather, lots of coloring, blowing bubbles, and checking out
the yard- especially the caterpillars.
Watercolors- R likes to paint but scrubs the brush on the paper, likes washing the brush off but not drying, and enjoys painting the sidewalk, her body parts and mine. I got the paints on sale for 1.99 at the local teacher supply store and they have more paint than most sets I have seen.
Weather-We have window clings up and talk about weather when we remember. R doesn't really get it yet but she can identify sun and rainbow.
Coloring-R breaks crayons, peels the paper off and colors on anything she can. I'm thinking chunky crayons are better for toddlers. However, I have a plethora of crayons new and old. BTW-Target had the 24 pack for 24 cents, can't pass that up. I can always used them for shaped crayons later.
Bubbles- R and I blew bubbles-well, mostly me and she chased them. The bubbles were huge...one of our neighbor's kids commented-those things are as big as balloons. I used regular bubble liquid but added dish detergent and glycerin. No measuring just poured it together and stirred. I made improvised wands from pipe cleaners and used a pie pan for the container. I didn't like the pipe cleaners, too flimsy. Next time we will try metal clothes hangers bent into different shapes.
Our yard-WOW!!!! We have caterpillars. There were some on the parsley and some on the fennel-today I only saw them on the parsley. None so far on the purple passion fruit. I plan on buying a butterfly habitat for next year so we can observe the life cycle of a butterfly.

Proud to be an American

2009-07-27T12:24:00.003-05:00

I got an email this morning from a former coworker of mine (Thanks Sara!). It was a short paragraph and link to a video. I rarely ever actually look at links in emails unless the link was sent specifically to me about something the person knew I would be interest in. However, today I did for some reason and I am glad I did. It was touching to see people-young, old, black, white, business people, laborers, fireman, military, policemen, etc- ALL showing their respect to a soldier. As some of the signs along the way said "Freedom isn't Free". I don't agree with everything about the wars going on but I agree all people have a right to be free and unoppressed. I respect our leaders for standing up to the oppressors and I respect are soldiers even more for fighting for people they don't know. As a side note-why don't you see more stuff like this on the big networks????
As a daughter, sister, granddaughter (x2), niece(x many), cousin(x3), and daughter-in-law of individuals who served our country-this video made me proud and tearful. When my brother left for Iraq, I was so scared I would never see him again. Despite our differences, disagreements and sometimes plain arguments- He is my family and I love him dearly and couldn't imagine life without him. You would think the longer he was gone, the more used to it I would get...NOPE. If he didn't email for a few days I panicked. I would search the net for info about the base he was at, watch CNN, Fox News, etc for hours, check my email incessantly and just be plain obsessed about my phone being right beside me. I thank God he made it home all in one piece.
I have included a copy of the email and the link.

Killed in action the week before, the body of STAFF SERGEANT FIRST CLASS JOHN C. BEALE was returned to Falcon Field in Peachtree City, Georgia, just south of Atlanta, on June 11, 2009. The HenryCounty Police Department escorted the procession to the funeral home in McDonough, Georgia. A simple notice in local papers indicated the road route to be taken and the approximate time. This was filmed during the procession by a State Trooper. Nowadays one can be led to believe that America no longer respects honor and no longer honors sacrifice outside the military. Be it known that there are many places in this land where people still recognize the courage and impact of total self-sacrifice. Georgia remains one of those graceful places. The link below is a short travelogue of that day's remarkable and painful journey. But only watch this if you wish to have some of your faith in people restored. Please share widely. GOD BLESS THE U.S.A. http://blip.tv/play/AYGJ5h6YgmE

Middle age, I'm there

2009-07-21T12:43:00.002-05:00

As much as it pains me to admit it- I am officially feeling "middle age". I went to the doc on Friday and am now on a Statin drug. I even bought a pill box. You can't get much more "middle aged" than that.
My maturity level is certainly not at almost 40. That's okay by me though. I prefer to keep a little immaturity around. I can always use it for an excuse to be selfish :)

Pros and cons; positives and negatives; the good and the bad; and more

2009-07-15T13:09:00.004-05:00

The hubby and I continue to contemplate a move to Western NC-we have pretty much made up our minds that it will happen and within the next 2 1/2 years. We even have a 4 county area picked out. HOWEVER, some people (in other words family) don't think it's a good idea. So, I used the old "make a list" way of looking at options. We, well mostly me, sat down and listed the positives and negatives of moving to a new state, specifically NC.

On the positive side

- seasons

- it's cooler

- no hurricanes

- mountains

- snow

- more affordable housing

- lower property taxes

- more home school "friendly"

- closer to "rock and gem" places, a passion of mine

- variety of state parks close by

- easier to grow a garden, hubby says not important, I say it is

- closer to sisters, provided they stay in the ATL area

On the negative side

- we will pretty much know no one

-the move itself (time, expenses)

-the possibility of 2 payments if our house does not have a renter

-it's cold

-long way from the beach

-snow

-some of the roads scare me

-less visits from his parents

-possibly less visits from the sisters now we aren't close to the beach

-new job for me..at least a part time one

-possibility of moving my parents for the 2nd time (not sure what the future holds in that area)

So, bottom line, we have alot to think about. I am determined to make it happen and so is the hubby. For me, the positive outweighs the negative and I think it does for him too. I'm just scared of change. We just need to set a time plan, make a plan, stick to it, and pray about it.

Finger painting

2009-07-09T15:26:00.003-05:00

R and I spent some time finger painting yesterday after I got home from work. She had a blast!! I alternated between putting paint on the paper and her hands. I think she enjoyed rubbing paint on her hands and on me more than putting it on the paper. We also tried footprints and hand prints-neither were incredibly successful. Since we were outside, I grabbed a few sticks, rocks and leaves and let her use those too. Fun times!
I used the crayola washable finger paints-they are a nice thick consistency and the colors are bright. They do take quite a long time to dry but it all depends on thickness of course. Baby R likes LOTS of paint so there were globs of it everywhere.
In the next few days I plan on trying the make your own version of finger paints. I picked up a box of cornstarch, and 2 assortments of food coloring to try out. I'll post about the results in a few days, well maybe weeks :)

My garden woes

2009-07-02T14:20:00.003-05:00

SO, my garden is not doing so well. I have 1 cucumber and 1 yellow squash or zucchini still alive. Not sure if I watered too much, not enough or something else. My beans are alive-well most of them-but there are almost no beans. Plus, when we came back from our trip there were large pieces of vine gone-not dead but GONE. No clue what is eating them-I didn't see bugs or caterpillars-I'm thinking squirrels or rats (gross!!). I do have LOTS and lots of Roma tomatoes and some regular ones too. The bell peppers are taking off and I have spices (basil, cilantro), even if they do look kinda puny. I guess the carrots and onions are doing okay-I can't really tell but most of them are still alive.

I am thinking about planting winter squash and maybe some cantaloupes in one of my mostly empty flowerbeds. Not exactly the best time for planting but I'm going to see what happens. This year's garden is more trial and error than anything else so it is a learning process for me however it turns out.

Visit to Nanny and Poppa's

2009-07-02T13:54:00.003-05:00

The hubby and I and little R went to my parent's house for a few days last week and over the weekend. This car trip was so much better than others. We stopped about an 1 1/2 into the trip and bought a portable DVD player. That thing is an electronic MIRACLE. It was great to have little R not whining and complaining about most everything after 30 minutes in her car seat. She did get grumpy close to the end both ways but nothing like the typical trip. What a relief.
We all enjoyed spending time with my parents. Plus, as a bonus, my brother and his 2 girls came and spent the night on Friday. It was nice to catch up and baby enjoyed the attention from everybody. Mom was worried R might be scared of her baldness-not at all. R just looked at her head, smiled and giggled, rubbed it a little and went on. Mom was relieved.
I spent quite a bit of time cooking and preparing food. I did get 12 meals in the freezer though-Yea!! Now I know they have some home cooked meals without alot of hassle. My Dad doesn't cook much and Mom still has very little energy and continues to have some yucky side effects from the chemo. They get alot of takeout and deli meals and eat sandwiches.
After getting that many meals done in a kitchen I'm not used to in a reasonable amount of time-I'm even more determined to do some freezer cooking for myself. Now, finding the time to do it is the key.
This week is essentially a 3 day work week for me. I was off on Monday except for court in the morning and I'm off again Friday. I could definitely get used to this!! However, no such luck for me.
Have a Happy Independence Day!

Father's day and dinner

2009-06-24T12:01:00.006-05:00

Well, Father's Day did not go as planned. I had planned on making breakfast for the hubby and making sure he got a little extra me time that morning. As I started breakfast preperation, I noticed some bowls with leftovers he had left in the sink. I decided to go ahead and get them cleaned up and put in the dishwasher before I started cooking. I proceeded to empty the leftovers into the sink and turn on the garbaghe disposal, only 1 bowl at a time though. Next thing you know, NASTY water is rising on thge other side. Turns out I clogged the pipes...AGAIN. So, hubby spent his morning draining disgustingly dirty water from the sink and pipes, and unclogging our drain with a snake.
Bless his heart-he barely complained. I felt so guilty!!! To add to the comedy of the day, the fish I cooked for dinner was awful. As in, there was no way we could eat it. I don't know if it was old, spoiled, or just gross-whichever it was-it was completely inedible. Once again, hubby didn't complain and we just ended up getting dressed really quickly and going out to dinner. Thank goodness for an understanding hubby. Love you!!

Homemade Pizza

2009-06-18T17:33:00.003-05:00

Hubby, little R, and I love pizza made at home!! Lately, the hubby has been making them because he is the one home first but I do occasionally make one too. Ours is a semi-homemade one since we used a bagged mix which I get for less than $1 at Save-a-Lot. As far as ingredients-it's whatever we have on hand. For the sauce-jarred pizza sauce or spaghetti sauce or tomato sauce w/ added spices; for the cheese-usually mozzarella but we add others like Monterrey jack, Colby too; for veggies-usually just green peppers but sometimes tomato slices, onions, artichoke hearts, yellow or red peppers, thin sliced carrots, etc; for meat-usually pepperoni, regular sausage, or Italian sausage,however ground beef, ham, and chicken are all options. We have made a taco style pizza w/ salsa, various cheeses (mozzarella and I forget the other kind but it's billed as a Mexican cheese and it's very wet and white) and hamburger seasoned w/ chili powder and cumin-it was really tasty. The hubby is much more creative than me in the kitchen-I tend to make the same things over and over with only minor tweaks-he likes making new things or changing recipes quite a bit.
Right now, hubby is at home making a pizza while I'm at work waiting on a client who I have to remind about responsibility and consistency and treatment plan guidelines.

Random facts about me

2009-06-15T13:37:00.004-05:00

I haven't really been in the blogging mood lately-nor have I been doing much "blogworthy" activities. SO, here goes with a random facts list.

1. I desperately want to move to Western NC
2. I honestly did not even consider having children before I was 30. Amazing how nature works :)
3. I remember almost none of my labor or C-section.
4. I am way more emotional now than before I had little R.
5. I look forward to the day I can start working only part time.
6. I still count on my fingers
7. I like to do lists-whether I actually use them or not
8. I am starting to enjoying cooking-but still not the clean up afterwards.
9. I enjoy planting veggies and watching them grow. There is a satisfaction in being able to eat something you grew from a tiny little seed.
10. I think about, research, consider, etc, stockpiling food, water and other supplies. I like the idea of being prepared and not just for hurricane season.
11. Speaking of hurricanes- I feel as if I HAVE to be outside looking at things while they are happening. Note: I have never been a strong hurricane.
12. I worry too much about things I can not change.
13. I am way too timid about getting out and meeting/talking to people. I even get nervous before playgroups!!
14. I hope my little R does not get my shyness.
15. I love kid movies, especially Disney ones.
16. I save way too much stuff.
17. My perfect living situation would be a 3 month rotation between Western NC and a sparsely populated carribean island.
18. I still essentially use the hunt and peck method of typing. I have typed 20+ page papers this way.
19. I feel incredibly immature for my age.
20. My feelings on the previos fact change often.
21. I have never wanted to live in a big city.
22. I just recently decided I could live "in the country".
23. I heart seashells.
24. I would love to be able to paint.
25. I still love 80's hair bands.

Pain, quick trip, and more

2009-06-11T13:37:00.004-05:00

Wow...it's Thursday already and I am so far behind with household chores, not to mention paperwork. I spent my weekend in pain and under the influence of narcotics. I HAD a cavity that needed a root canal but thought I could wait until the end of the month to get it fixed. I had it all planned out- I would go to Tuscaloosa on a Thursday, go to the dentist on Friday, and have the rest of the weekend to spend with my Mom and Dad. Well, it didn't work that way.
On Friday evening, I was downing alleve and tylenol in copius quantities. By Saturday, I was taking my neighbor's meds. Saturday night ended with a trip to the ER for pain meds and antibiotics. I spent most of Saturday and all day Sunday sleeping-opiates knock me out. On MOnday morning, the hubby started calling around looking for someone who could see me ASAP. He called a random dentist in Mobile and they said they could see me that afternoon. After hearing this, we threw clothjes in a suitcase for us and R, grabbed extra diapers and a sippy cup and headed out. We made a speedy trip to Mobile and the dentisit saw me as soon as I got there.
The experience was not a pleasant one BUT it was not as painful as I expected. The dentist was thorough and gentle, the staff was friendly and it was cheaper than having it done here in PC. 900$ later..I'm no longer in pain.
R did get to spend a little time with her grandparents and we were able to rest a little before driving home the next day. I say a little because the in-laws house is hot, not warm, hot!!! Also, the bed seriously hurts my back AND I forgot to pack a bottle. I remembered the liners but not the bottle. Little R still drinks a bottle before bed. I know, bad mommy for not breaking her already. It was so pitiful though..she woke up once crying :I can't have it..bottle, I can't have it. I wanted to cry :(
On a happy note- We stopped by Battleship Park and little one got to touch an airplane. She now talks about kissing and hugging the airplane. Too cute.

Memorial Day weekend

2009-05-28T14:39:00.004-05:00

Well, the long weekend has come and gone..leaving me wishing for an even longer weekend/vacation. Most of my time was spent catching up on sleep I didn't get while worrying about my Mom. She spent almost 5 days in the hospital from what appeared to be an "overdose" of chemo. She went for days without being able to keep solids down even with anti nausea injections and a bag or two of IV fluids. SO, she went to the ER and they admitted her. After many, many phone calls and inquiries I was still as uninformed as before I called anybody-MAJOR source of frustration. As with many others-not knowing is one of the hardest things for me.
Thank goodness for having family and friends who work at the local hospital.I finally got some accurate information mid morning on Thursday and felt a little better about what was going on.
I could add more about the stressful part of the end of the week/weekend but won't.
On a positive note-We took R to see her first LIVE cows and horses. She was thrilled to see the "moos". We heard about the baby moo for days.

Bellingrath Gardens

2009-05-19T22:53:00.006-05:00

When my parents were visiting, I took time off and took Mom to Bellingrath Gardens in Mobile, AL. I wasn't incredibly impressed this time, but the gardens are pretty at anytime. I'm thinking they were in an in-between phase because I saw lots of new plants and lots of planting being done.
What I enjoyed was the time we got to spend together and the time my parents were able to spend with little R.
R had a great time exploring the grass, shrubs, leaves, flowers, water features and various bugs we encountered along the way. We used her new backpack with a leash, ummm strap-to keep her from escaping into the river or dissapearing into the flowering abyss. It was a lifesaver-she could walk or ride in the stroller and I didn't have to plead, argue, redirect or force her to hold my hand or stay close. I distinctly remember the devices from quite a few years back that attached to the child's hand and had a strap the parents held and I even more vividly remeber my thoughts about them. It went something like this I can't believe a parent would have their child on a leash like a dog..I will never do that to my child...those are for people who just don't try to make their child behave, etc, etc. I take it all back!!!!! I was so thankful for the backpack and the peace it allowed.

Heirloom seeds

2009-05-17T21:08:00.003-05:00

This year, I planted mostly heirloom seeds from Ferry Morse and Burpee. Why heirloom? I like the idea of non hybrid veggies and being able to save seeds year to year. Plus, there is just a tiny bit of preparedness in the back of my mind and heirloom seeds are a start. All of the seeds I planted are growing well and now I'm waiting on harvest time. The dragon tongue beans already have beans on them, the squash and zuchini are blooming and the onions are doing okay. I will post pictures soon.

Letting go and letting GOD

2009-05-14T15:25:00.002-05:00

Why is it so hard to stop worrying about things you have no control over???? I keep reminding myself, let God take care of it the way he sees fit, just pray about it. BUT, I find myself worrying about the outcome, thinking about what ifs and getting down about what the future may or may not hold. So, this is a visual reminder for me to Let Go and Let God. I will continue to pray for healing but also pray for acceptance of God's plan.

Gratitude

2009-05-01T13:41:00.003-05:00

Definition of GRATITUDE

a feeling of thankfulness and appreciation

a feeling of being grateful for gifts or favours

The state of being grateful; thankfulness.

My mom's recent diagnosis has reminded me of how thankful I should be for what I have...even the little things. So, here is a list for the world to see.

Things I am thankful for:

A healthy child
Parents who care
In-laws who are helping
A home
My car
Flowers
All of my senses
The ability to work
Having a job
Reasonably good health
unconditional love
Air conditioning
Food for my family
GOD
the bible
Church
Music
Good coffee
Krispy Kreme :)
Having had my parents around till now
Doctors
medications
change of seasons
the beach
mountains
sunsets
rain
intelligence
having at least a little common sense
a husband who helps out w/ baby
Nichole-she takes wonderful care of little R
my 3 critters
silence (not that I experience it alot)

These are just a few of the thinks I am thankful for. A few years ago, Oprah mentioned a gratitude journal on her show. I haven't done that but I do make it a point to think about all I have to be thankful for..even the small things.

the C word

2009-04-27T11:20:00.004-05:00

I'm sitting here at work, desperately wishing I could be at home with little R and my mom. The hubby and I brought my parents back here to FLA from Alabama this weekend. Mom told me on Friday that her cancer is back. When she goes back, she will start chemo and maybe radiation...AGAIN. She had breast cancer, had a mastectomy, went through chemotherapy-2 different kinds, radiation and ongoing anticancer drugs. Then, cancer was found in her back, more chemo and radiation...another flare up, more radiation.
Now, she has cancer in her kidneys and liver. According to the docs, the original cancer in the breast metastasised to the back bone which has now metastasised to the kidney and liver. AT least it is the same form/strain as before-hopefully the chemo they used before will be effective.
I am so glad we had already decided that my parents would come back with us. Time is precious but even more so when the reality of illness, death and dying are so close.
If you are the praying type-please keep my Mom and Dad in yours-if not, send happiness and health vibes her way.

Family Reunion, car trips, etc

2009-04-27T10:09:00.003-05:00

Well, we are back from our short trip to attend a family reunion in Alabama. The ride there was not pleasant. We need to remember to only travel in the morning or early afternoon with R. When she is tired, riding in a car seat for hours is not something she does without a protest. She cried, whined, and practically begged me to hold her (I hold you)-it was sad :(. We did stop once at a McD's to let her play for about 30 minutes and that seemed to help for a little while.
Little R had a good time playing chase and coloring with her cousin Jacob (he is actually my cousin's grandson, not sure what that makes he and R) at the family reunion. They were so cute!! And we got to see relatives we hadn't seen since...well, last year at the family reunion.
Kudos to my cousins Regina and Sheree for putting it together. I'm looking forward to seeing the CD of pictures put together by another cousin and his daughter. Someone had the awesome idea to have everyone bring family pictures-old and new-and scan them in to create a picture CD.
It was also great to get to spend time with my oldest niece. She came for the family reunion and spent the night at my parents' house. R has only seen her once or twice before but she warmed up to her quickly. It was sweet to see her holding R and see the smiles being exchanged.

Things to do before I die

2009-04-22T10:27:00.009-05:00

As part of my job as a counselor, I lead group treatment sessions every week. One of the topics I have used in the past and used again today was what are 20 things you want to do before you die. Previously, I've played the Tim McGraw song Live Like You Were Dying and then explained the activity but not today. I didn't decide until after I was at work to do this activity.
SO,in keeping with a theme-I'm blogging about my own bucket list of things to do before I die.

Learn to speak another language, fluently
Have a home in Puerto Rico
Get out of debt
Get my LMHC
Sell my creations on ETSY
Learn to sew
Snorkel the Great Barrier Reef
Swim in a phosphorescent bay
Spend the night in the rainforest
Be unplugged (no TV, computer, phone, etc) for one week
Kayak with Orcas
Take an Alaskan Cruise
Meet my grandchildren
Move to western North Carolina
See the Northern Lights
Take my child to swim with the manatees
Take my child to Disneyworld
Go on a photo safari
Paint a picture and hang it in my home
Have a "real" garden-you know, the kind that actually feeds my family
Live far enough away from the city to have chickens, not a pen full just a few laying hens
See the Grand Canyon
Ride a camel
Dig for Thundereggs
Be an extra in a movie
Have a house with a big porch- rockers, porch swing, hanging plants, the whole old southern kind of porch
Come up with a "signature" dish
Take guitar lessons
Learn to play a CCR, James Taylor, or Simon and Garfunkel song on my guitar
Find a church where I feel at home
Teach a college level course
Forgive some people (I'm currently working on this )
Grow my own fruit
Become comfortable with my body-whatever size it is
Foster creativity in my child
Foster a sense of wonder about nature in my child
Learn how to start a fire with sticks or rocks-no flint, no matches, etc
Research edible plants and have a working knowledge of them for wherever I live
Have an emergency fund
Take a survival class
Go to Jerusalem and walk where Jesus walked
Own an RV
Visit all 50 states
SIMPLIFY!!
Take R fishing
Wake up to snow on Christmas morning
Make something R will actually want to wear
Teach R to swim
Learn to fix R's hair :)
Volunteer on a reservation
Go back to Ireland
Hike at least part of the Appalachian Trail
Go to Costa Rica
Trip to the UP of Michigan to hunt for Lake Superior Agates

Well, enough for now. I guess I better get busy making the money I need to do some of the traveling I want to do.

Phrases, new words, and general cuteness

2009-04-17T13:54:00.003-05:00

R is now using a few phrases...neat. She says "I hold you" which can mean hold me or I want to hold _________ (usually the cats or whatever critter she sees on TV or outside. She also says "I get you" when playing with me or the hubby. Her newest word is Libby but it comes out Geebee or Sheebee. Too cute.
The hubby has been keeping her at home most of this week so they have really been able to bond. The babysitter had her tonsils out this week and since hubby is without employment-it just made sense to have her home.
NOW-I must actually work :)

Easter Weekend

2009-04-14T11:10:00.004-05:00

Unfortunately, I didn't have a 3 day weekend like so many :( Our Easter weekend was very uneventful. I worked a few hours on Saturday and napped for a LONG time because I felt crappy. We did make a late night run to Krispy Kreme with baby in tow. She stayed awake until almost 11:00 pm. I think I have a future night owl on my hands.
Sunday morning was spent letting R play with her Easter Basket toys and then off to church. We chose to stay close and just go to the church within walking distance from our house. Not my first choice but it was convenient and time constraint friendly. The sermon was meaningful and easy to understand, the music was AWFUL but I reminded myself it was about making a Joyful noise not a pleasing noise.
Sunday afternoon once again involved a nap and then outside play with R. She FINALLY got to use her sidewalk chalk from her Easter basket. She was more amused by writing on me than the sidewalk. She also made a few sneaky attempts at writing on Daddy's car. We then transplanted tomatoes and peppers and let R play with the waterhose. She LOVES this. The water is freezing (well water) and I have no clue how she stands it. As usual, by the time we were done outside, little R needed a bath and dry clothes.
BTW-I went to the Doc yesterday and I have a bad sinus infection and an ear infection-this explains why I have been so tired and thus all the naps.

Veggies-follow up

2009-04-08T17:56:00.004-05:00

I have now added carrots and cucumbers to my backyard (well sideyard) garden. EVERYTHING I planted earlier has sprouted...YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!! I still need to transplant the bellpeppers and tomatoes but I don't think they are big enough yet. I'm thinking I will just make supports for the tomatoes vs. using cages. I can't wait for harvest time.

Veggies

2009-04-01T13:51:00.003-05:00

My husband finished my little garden spot over the weekend. Yeah hubby! We won't discuss how long this had been in the works ;) Well, I now have a 4 x 8 plus a little more garden. So far I have planted dragon tongue beans, some type of pole beans, yellow squash, zucchini, green onion, cilantro and basil. I have tomatoes and bellpeppers to transplant soon. One problem-I can't tell which is which yet. Considering I need room for tomato cages, I have to wait until they are larger to put them in the garden. I'm thinking of adding carrots in a few spots if I have room.
NOW-I'm just hoping all the rain doesn't wash the seeds away or in one big pile in a corner of the veggie garden.
Baby R so wanted to help with this project. She loves playing in the dirt. I let her play as long as I was just leveling the soil but had to have hubby take her elsewhere when she kept digging up the seeds I had just planted. I felt guilty about not letting her play but redirection was not working.

Fine motor work or just playing

2009-03-31T10:30:00.003-05:00

I bought some stuff for R to practice fine motor skills last week and we finally used them on Sunday and Monday. On Sunday, we laced wooden beads onto pipe cleaners. She had a hard time and got a little frustrated manipulating the bead to where the opening and the pipe cleaner lined up but seemed to enjoy the activity anyway. She was most amused by taking the beads off not putting them on.
Yesterday, we transferred dried beans from one container to the other with both a spoon and just her hands. This was R's first experience with dried beans. I had a hard time convincing her to keep them in the containers or at least on the tray and not all over the floor, or in her mouth or even down her shirt (?). I have no clue where the down the shirt thing came from. I finally had to put them away because she continued to throw them and refused to pick them up. With R, I try not to be too strict but sometimes I feel I have to be. I would have allowed her to keep playing after she threw the beans IF she would have picked them up-R would have nothing to do with the idea of picking up so away went the beans. A minor protest occurred but ended before too long. We will try again tonight with different implements.

Time-I don't have enough of it

2009-03-26T15:50:00.004-05:00

I read all these great blogs from Moms who do so many creative activities -crafty ones, just for fun ones, teaching ones, etc-and I think to myself..hmmm, I should do that with R. Well, I never seem to have time to do those nifty activities I read about. I sometimes wonder-HOW do people find the time? I guess it is just a matter of making time and being more organized. Something I most definitely am not.
My afternoons are spent getting dinner ready, dishes washed, bathing baby, washing, folding and hanging clothes, watching American Idol :), and sometimes just recovering from my day. I don't seem to find or make the time to much creative stuff. I do play with baby dolls, read books, color, put together Lego's, and just play but I don't do the "cool" stuff like art projects, water transfer, pouring activities, color matching, and nature exploration.
Anywayz, it is a goal of mine to start doing these things I keep reading about. Now, if I could just have more hours in the day.

the Park

2009-03-21T07:32:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I skated out of work early and spent the afternoon with R and my parents. They are visiting from Alabama. We made a quick trip to the store, then to feed the goats and finally to the park.
R had a fabulous time at the park. She enjoys the running and climbing most of all. I am also noticing her desire to be around other children. She doesn't so much want to play with them-just being close to them seems to be the goal (minus the initial need to touch them). I must make an effort to take her to church more often so she can interact more with a group of kiddos her age.
My Mom and Dad seemed to enjoy watching R play and explore. They are both a bit overly protective but it is sweet. BTW-little R has been stuck on her Popppa since he got here. She wants to be where he is. He is quite pleased with this attention.
Today will be spent playing outside, going to Quilting by the Bay (praying for restraint) to see the quilt display, shopping for R and enjoying the beautiful day together. I take my parents back to Montgomery tomorrow where my brother will meet me.

Lost

2009-03-12T12:24:00.005-05:00

R's big sister Kiki (kelli) has been in town since Sunday. They have been spending quite a bit of time together. They have visited friends, gone shopping, out for pizza, to the park and to the beach. During the day, I am used to being away from her- nighttime is a different story. I'm okay until about 6pm, then I start looking at the clock and wondering...where is she? when will she be home? did she eat? does she miss me? did her sis remember to change her? is big sis watching her closely? is big sis being incredibly careful?
My hubbie tells me to lighten up and relax. I am having a hard time with either of those. I am rarely away from baby except for work. I have gone painting a few times, to the store on occasions and once to pick up my parents without her but those occasions are rare. I prefer to be with my little one versus alone. Now, I do enjoy having alone time but preferably in the house with her :)
Bottomline-I am forcing myself to allow little one some sister time with her Kiki. I know she will take care of her and be extra careful. I can't help but be a little paranoid.

Getting dirty

2009-03-08T18:17:00.003-05:00

We spent time outside yesterday enjoying the beautiful day. I pulled and dug up weeds as well as mowed the front yard-I still have LOTS to do. R and the hubby played some in the backyard and then joined me in the front. R played in the dirt. It was amusing to watch her pick up dirt, let it run through her fingers, rub it in her skin, throw it, dig in it,etc. She has no problem getting dirty :) She and Daddy also had fun chasing each other around the car.
I think everyone felt better after spending some time out in the sunshine.

More words

2009-03-05T10:13:00.003-06:00

Baby has learned more words-YEAH. She has added clean, bath, and cookie to her repertoire. Pretty soon she will be an expert at this talking thing :)

Discipline or lack of it

2009-03-05T09:59:00.004-06:00

As little one gets older, I find myself having to discipline her more and in the process feeling more and more clueless. You see, I have a Master's in Counseling Psychology, have worked with children off and on for years, have taught commone sense parenting, and consider myself a decent counselor. WELL-my little one makes me feel as if I have NO CLUE how to discipline a child. I tell her no-she does it anyway, I tell her what she should do instead-she continues the misbehavior, I remind her of the correct choice-she returns to the misbehavior, I put her in the corner-she does it again...AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH. The tribulations of raising a strong willed child.
I have also tried spanking her hand or her bottom when it is something that could hurt her. This is also not usually effective. I do not like the idea of spanking-it has its place but I think it should be last resort and only when it is something that could result in harm. My husband has a different opinion but we are trying to compromise. He believes in spare the rod-spoil the child.
As little one matures, I am sure (fingers crossed) it will get a bit easier. For now, I will keep reminding her of alternative responses, alternate behaviors, etc, limit the use of the word "no" and just revel in the fact I have a beautiful, intelligent, strong willed little princess.