Tuesday, February 5, 2013

As I sit here in the office trying to focus on work, my mind and heart inevitably end up with my Dad. He is back in the ER for the 2nd time in a few short days. He complains of pain in various places, is not eating much and is losing weight. Today's ER trip was due to complaints of pain when he swallows and stomach pain but when he gets there he tells them his feet/legs hurt and burn. Just a few days ago he fell and hit head (earlier ER visit). No news as to what is going on but at least this time my brother is there to keep me informed.
My dad's brother has been the primary support for him with me being 300+ miles away and my brother being 100+ miles away and at times overseas. But now he is having his own health problems and has a new grandbaby he wants to visit-this leaves my brother and I trying to figure out what to do. Dad has not wanted to move every time we have addressed it in the past but now I'm thinking we must insist even if it's against his wishes. I feel like I should move him here with me but then I consider how small our house is, our need for a dedicated office (tax purposes and practicality since we are both self employed), our demanding 5 year old, and having unfamiliar people in my home for hours a day caring for him. I feel guilty and feel like I'm being selfish for thinking about those things but remind myself I have to be realistic.
What to do?????????????????????????????????