Friday, December 18, 2009

Trip home-Looking forward to and dreading at the same time

The hubby, little R and I will be spending Christmas with my parents in their home this year. I'm looking forward to everyone being together one last time-my brother and his girls will be there too. I'm also glad that I will be able to give my Dad a break from the caregiver role for a few days and give him a chance to get out of the house without feeling guilty.
However, if I am truly honest with myself, I am also dreading it just a bit. My Mom's condition is not good, there is very little left of the woman I remember. My Dad is declining quickly too. I know my brother and I have to have a very direct, uncomfortable conversation with my father about my mom's condition and his plans for after she is gone. Up to this point, he has just said we will cross that bridge once we get to it. My Dad and I share a dislike of confronting the uncomfortable, so I definitely know where he is coming from. It has come to the point where plans must be made and preparations must be started.
Our trip will also include some major cleaning out of the parent's house. My Dad is a saver of all things-he came up in the depression, his family was impoverished, and they went without the things I would call neccesities. Because of this, he keeps EVERYTHING!! He feels if it costs money you should keep it, no matter if it is broken, useless, etc. My Mom was the type to buy stuff, lots of stuff, and sometimes use it, sometimes not. She also would buy for other people and sometimes forget to give it to them or misplace it. Mom also would collect clothing, houseware, books, etc that people were giving away with the intention of giving it to someone in need or just someone who might appreciate it and those things too would sometimes end up staying in the house. She enjoyed buying and enjoyed helping others, it was just sometimes to an excess. So, bottom line, I have a TON of stuff to go through and decide what should be donated, thrown away or possibly put on ebay. I'm guessing alot of things will just be trashed.
I know I will enjoy our time together and the memories we make. The busy stuff and other details will just be fleeting.

Merry Christmas
 Feliz Navidad

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