control

There are so many things out of my control that I worry about. I'm trying to Let Go and Let God but sometimes it is so hard.
 I am still amazed how people act sometimes and how they feel the need to run other's lives. Just when you think they have ceased the crap, it starts again. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!
I am so far away and feel so out of the loop and feel no one wants to keep me in-it's as if certain individuals want me out of the picture and I truly don't understand why.
I find myself having less than Christian thoughts and questioning how these Christian people can treat others in such a way. Then I remind myself-no one is perfect and it's not my place to judge.
When things get stressful I miss my Mom even more. She was the persistent, assertive one. Wish heaven wasn't so far away.

Birthdays

Yesterday was my Mom's birthday, the second one since she passed away last February. In a way I'm proud of myself for not getting upset and then I also feel a little guilty that I thought so little about it. I was aware of the date but I guess not focused on it. I still have days when the grief is overwhelming but those are fewer and fewer. Now I have more short moments of all those feelings versus entire days. So it's true, time does help.
Moving on to this weekend-R is having a pool party for her birthday. She is super excited!! She picked out a Tangled theme! Her birthday is next week and she will be 4. My baby is no longer a toddler, she's a little girl :(.

Summer fun list

What are you doing this summer for fun? We aren't going on vacation so we will just have to find things to do around here. LOTS of people vacation here so we might play tourists for a day or two :)
Some must do things for us this summer and later:
Wonderworks
Seashell hunting early in the morning after a storm
Dolphin cruise
handprints and/or footprints in sand w/ plaster
Trips to bay
Trips to beach
Play in the sprinkler
Nightime walk on beach
Picnic on beach
Gulfworld
Matinee movie
Splatter painting a sheet or something similar outside
St Joe State Park
Maybe camping in the late summer

Lullaby

My little R asked me to sing her "R's song" tonight and I realized I had almost forgotten some of the words. So I thought I would add it here to preserve forever :)

Sleep little R--- go to sleep, Sleep little R--- go to sleep
Close your eyes and dream away, close your eyes and dream away
Dream about happy thoughts, dream about happy thought
Butterflies and fairytales, Sunny days and baby whales
Little ponies brown and white, mommy and R-- flying kites
Tiny fishies swimming by, Lions, tigers, bears, oh my
Building castles in the sand, Daddy and R holding hands
Turtles, frogs, and birdies too
Flowers and trees and the morning dew
Jumping waves and playing catch
Baking cookies by the batch
Sleep little R go to sleep, sleep little R go to sleep

Sometimes LOTS of singing was required to get R to go to sleep or get her back to sleep. I would run out of songs so I just made one up. Hard to believe I miss those sleepless nights and sleep deprived hazy days.

Slacker

So I haven't blogged in forever but not because I've been busy, just slacking. I am no longer working full time which I am enjoying but the drop in income is worrisome. I just started a new job as a contractor. I'm hoping to work 20-25 hours a week before too long.
Must update this thing soon-R and I have been busy :)

More gardening

I am determined to make my garden work this year!!!! That means watering, watering and more watering. This week I planted cucumbers, yellow zuchini, green zuchini, butternut squash, acorn squash, summer squash, 2 kinds of pole beans and regular bush beans. I'm thinking I wilI still need to plant bellpeppers and maybe some green onions. Oh and the hubby bought turnip seeds, might as well give them a try too. I am doing "intensive" gardening and may have planted things too close but we will see. My father-in-law cut down the fig tree that was blocking the sun for me-hopefully that will get things going quicker. 
I can't wait to get my sunflowers in the ground. Just have to figure out a good spot, and a way to keep the puppy from eating, digging, and generally destroying them. 

Random happenings and bad mommy confession

We have had a month of lots of busyness but little actually getting done :)
I spent a week in my hometown at a substance abuse conference, baby was sick for a week (and is again), and I've had a general lack of energy for a few weeks.
The conference was mediocre but I did have a wonderful time seeing some old friends, exploring the campus, and getting to spend time with my Dad every evening. AND I got the always needed CEUs.
I did get tomatoes and a few herbs planted. I am trying buckets for the tomatoes-not sure how that is going to work. I also have prepared my little garden spot for planting, which will be done by this weekend. A few annuals have been added to the flower bed, flower seeds are in the ground and sunflower seeds are in peat pots.

http://familyfun.go.com/crafts/sunflower-sunroom-671975/
 I am super excited about the sunflower house. I saw the idea on Family Fun and decided to give it a try. I am going to plant the sunflowers in a circle, leaving an opening for the "door", and plant morning glories in between the sunflowers.
We have done almost ZERO planned preschool activities in the last three weeks. I know-bad Mommy! Hopefully things will get back in gear soon.

What My Child Is Reading This Week-COW Theme

We just started our Cow Theme week. Our books for the week include: Clancy the Courageous Cow, Click Clack Moo-Cows that Type, Cows (Doyle), What a Wonderful Day to be a Cow, A Calf Is Born, The Cow that Went Oink, The Cow Who Wouldn't Come Down, and Cows (Miller).


I found a free curriculum online that takes some (more like alot) of the planning off of me, so we are giving it a try. It is-Brightly Beaming Steps to Reading Program Preparatory Curriculum by Katrina Lybbert http://www.letteroftheweek.com/index.html . I am changing things around a little by adding a bible verse per theme, adding an extra vocabulary word and having one theme for two weeks versus one.
Our plans for the next two weeks include: making butter from heavy cream by shaking, visiting cows, learning cow facts, having a dairy only snack, cow paper bag puppet, playing with handmade farm animal blocks and most of the activities listed in the curriculum. 

R-My Wish for You

My wishes and dreams and hopes for my precious little R
-grow up knowing how much both your Dad and I love you
-have lots of memories of good times even the most ordinary ones
-have instilled values to guide you through even the toughest times
-always see the beauty in God's creation
-health
-remain connected to your sisters
-find a man who treats you like a princess :)
-love yourself
-personal relationship with God
-continue some of our traditions with your children
-are self sufficient but willing to ask for and accept help
-remain in awe of nature
-laugh often
-find a few special friends to keep for a lifetime
-have children of your own to experience the joy it brings to your life to be a Mom
-find and develop your special gifts from God
-experience different cultures
-never compromise your values to fit in
-keep your sense of humor

And much more that I will share with you as you get older.

Christmas in Maggie Valley

Okay, so it's February and I'm just now doing a post about Christmas......what a slacker :)

We celebrated Christmas in a rental house in the mountains this year. For me, it was perfect except for missing family members (frown). Our celebration was simple but just right for us. Christmas morning we opened presents, oohed and ahhed over the snow, and ate a yummy breakfast complete with the traditional Cracker Barrel knockoff breakfast casserole. Little R had tons of fun feeding her baby doll, playing dress up, and enjoying having her CoCo around. We had planned on a late lunch/early dinner for our main Christmas meal but it didn't exactly work out that way. We lost power for a few hours two different times so the food wasn't ready on time but we didn't care. Little R and the rest of us spent LOTS of time outside playing in the snow. It was our first White Christmas so it made the day even more special.

The REASON for the SEASON- JESUS

The TREE....$10 tree bought 4 days before Christmas. Small, lopsided, uneven, think Charlie Brown Christmas tree with a borrowed stand that dwarfed it and don't forget the awesome tree skirt aka burgundy bath towel.
The ORNAMENTS-a few ornaments my Mom made (sequins and pins on styrofoam), old plastic silver ornaments that were destined for the garbage, glittered pinecones made by Little R and I, foam ornaments made by all of us, and of course strung popcorn :)
The PRESENTS-homemade scarf for baby, hubby and the sisters, foam stickies for little R (she spent forever in the tub playing with them, homemade soap for the ladies, scrapbook style picture plaques for everyone, homemade microwave popcorn with bags decorated by R for everyone, a shirt for the hubby, and some store bought toys for R.
The ACTIVITIES- painting with watercolors, snuggling while watching movies, playing in the snow, making snow angels, gathering pinecones for decorating and starting fires, making glittered pinecones, making smores outside by the campfire, trip to waterfall, playing by the river, collecting rocks, coloring, sipping hot chocolate outside covered with blankets, just sitting and watching the fire, playing with new toys, reconnecting :)
The PEOPLE-me, hubby, Little R and CoCo (sister). We had hoped others would join us but it didn't work out that way.
The SETTING- Wonderful 3 bed, 2 bath rental home on the side of a mountain, 2 covered decks, deck off of master bedroom, view of the mountains, 2 fireplaces in Maggie Valley, NC
The FOOD- cookies for Santa, cheesecake, smores, fresh ground coffee, Pomegranite glazed Ham, hashbrown casserole, red beans and rice, cornbread dressing
The MEMORIES-first white Christmas, little one making snow angels, reindeer food for Rudolph and crew, Little R in her super cute snow suit, first Christmas without my Mom, SMORES!!

We did get snowed in. That was quite an experience. We didn't leave the house for 5 days except for hubbie's trip to the grocery store. Thanks to friends of a friend we survived. My friend Kym who lives in Maggie just happened to leave for Reno the night before we got there BUT she hooked us up with people she knew with a massive 4 wheel drive truck. They were awesome and took the hubby to the grocery store and even took our trash away. We were able to leave only after our driveway and the gravel part of the road was salted (x 2) and plowed by the mailman's son for a reduced rate AND Vitti was driven down to the main road by a "local". Yep, the mailman's son-hubby happened to talk to the mailman about the roads and how the home owner and the rental company were not helping us get out and he gave his son a call and next thing you know, we have someone to help at about 1/2 the cost of all the others. BTW-a light SUV without 4 wheel drive and with regular not so very new tires is not appropriate for driving on snow and ice.
We had a fabulous time and it was just what I needed. Now, to make the mountains my forever home.

DIY Fabric Softener

I finally nixed fabric softener all together. I now use diluted vinegar and essential oil. That's it, nothing else. I use ~3 parts vinegar and 1 part water with several drops of essential oil, using ~ 1/2 a cup per load. Much to my relief, there is no vinegar smell after the clothes come out of the dryer and the clothes are soft. BUT, I miss the fabric softener smell. Not sure if I am using the wrong type of oil or not using enough but my clothes don't have a scent when they are dry-none. I haven't noticed any static but I've read yu can use baking soda or borax in the wash to reduce it. Now, to go DIY with my detergent.

Our Winter learning theme

So, our learning theme for the week  last month has been Winter. We have learned about snow, ice, icicles, hibernating animals, and winter clothing. I have been a MAJOR slacker these past few weeks with Christmas and vacation and just general laziness. Sad to say but our book reading has been minimal along with everything else. However, we have managed to read a few books and complete a few activities/projects.
Our books for the Winter theme:
Animals in Winter
                                                                                                  Snow Day                                                                                                   First Snow
                                                                  Sugar Snow
                                                                  The Snow Lambs
                                                                  Marven of the Great North Woods
When Winter Comes
Callie Cat, Ice Skater
and more of course.
My favorite is Sugar Snow :), and R's is First Snow. The illustrations in First Snow are phenomenal. The look so lifelike and I think that's why R likes the book so much.
Our activities have included making model magic snowmen, painting with ice cubes w/ food coloring added, melting ice with salt, epsom salt painting, coloring snow men, snow pictures (shaving cream with glue), playing outside with our gloves/mittens and scarves on and if you count Christmas-playing in the snow and with icicles.
Hopefully we will get back on schedule this next month and I won't be so lazy.

Finishing my 40 things to accomplish LIST

I only came up with 30 accomplishments on my previous post so here is/are (which is correct?) the rest.


31) learn the sale cycles and stock up on staples when the prices are the lowest


32) Organize my coupons


33) Buy ME some new clothes-done!!, shoes too


34) Start contributing to my 403B


35) Make myself an altered notebook


36) ORGANIZE all my learning stuff (worksheets, articles, forms)


37) Develop a learning plan for R-modifying one I found online 


38) Treadmill 3 x per week


39) Paint abstract art on canvas and hang it in my home or office


40) Make it to 41  :)

Chemicals and Products

Okay, I'm not one of the majorly green or thrifty/frugal kind of people but I was a bit suprised by the sheer amount of products/chemicals I use in a day-heck just in the morning.
Just this morning I used body wash, soap, face cleanser/scrub, shampoo, conditioner, defrizz/smoothing lotion, deodarant, hairspray, lotion, and toothpaste. All I can say is Oh My Gosh-that is RIDICULOUS. Oh I forgot I put on powder foundation, lip balm and gloss, perfume and have used hand sanitizer already today.
So, how to reduce all this? I'm not completely sure...I like products :) Just ask the hubby.
I am in the process of convincing the hubby to go to DIY laundry detergent and fabric softener-not sure I will have much success with giving up even more conveniences. I try to use baking soda for cleaning when possible but must admit I like soft scrub, spic and span, and scrubbing bubbles. AND the idea of vinegar for cleaning seems so icky to me, I hate hate hate the smell of vinegar.
OK, done with my random post. Will update on my changes, IF I make any.

40 Things to Accomplish this Year

Since I turned 40 (GASP) last month-I decided to come up with 40 things to accomplish this year in lieu of "resolutions".
So here it goes...........
1) Add pictures to at least every third blog entry
2) Take more pictures (or have hubby do it) of R and I's art/craft/learning activities
3) Make R 2 hooded towels
4) Make at least 5 hairbows or hair accesories for R-4 down 1 to go
5) Make a hairbow holder for R from old frame
6) Put flowers on my Mom's grave-It's been almost a year and I still haven't been. Not sure when I will actually be ready, if ever, but I think I should be able to before the year is out.-as of 4/5 I've made the arrangement
7) Plant my little garden by mid March this year.
8) Lose 10 pounds (and keep it off)
9) Apply for my CAP
10) Attend at least 1 conference in Substance Abuse field-sent the check off on 3/4, conference is later in March-DONE
11) Write my Dad (or send a card) once per month-done for Jan and Feb
12) Blog post about my dreams/hopes for R-completed 3/03
13) Complete 6 scrapbook pages of R's pictures
14) Send homemade snacks to Dad x 2
15) Have 3 freezer cooking days
16) Trip to Atlanta aquarium
17) See Rock City :)
18) Plant sunflowers-4/3, in peat pots
19) Get family pictures done
20) Make personalized onesie for Brayden-my great nephew
21) Sew 4 pillowcases
22) Use a menu planner at least 2 weeks per month
23) 1 crockpot meal per month
24) Work the spring consignment sale-done
25) "applique" two shirts for R for spring
26) Bake some bread-not from a mix-done, made a honey wheat but awfully dense, not light and airy
27) Read a book just for entertainment
28) Tie dye something with R
29) Go on a date with the hubby
30) Paint our bedroom

31) OKAY, I'm stuck so I'll list 10 more later :)

I plan on making myself accountable on some of these by blogging about the finished product, result, trip, etc :)

Trip to the Mountains

Our trip to Maggie Valley, North Carolina for Christmas was wonderful. I'm a tiny bit dissapointed we didn't get to go to Grove Park Inn or to see the elk but hey it SNOWED on Christmas Day.
We rented a lovely house on the side of a mountain for our trip. We had 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, 2 living areas, and 3 decks-turned out to be way more than we needed but we will know for next time. The road and driveway to the house was scary-even without snow and ice. I will definitely need some driving practice when we move. I was too scared to leave the house :(
We checked out dowtown Waynesville, went to Mingo Falls and a park beside the river in Cherokee, and explored a few shops in Maggie Valley before being snowed in. The view of Mingo Falls was spectacular but getting all 4 of us up there was SCARY. Think ice and snow and wet slippery ground with no handrails or anything to stop a fall. The falls were beautiful and the icicles majestic. So glad we braved the less than stellar conditions to see it. Little R's reaction was priceless. She kept saying "that's ALOT of water" and insisted on eating every icicle she could find..even those w/ leaves and pinestraw ...eeewwww.